The Hazards of Contemporary Life, According to The Amazing Catwoman

First of all, they always put you up in a place with a name that only sounds good. “423 Windsor Terrace, LakeView, Limenós” sounds pretty posh, doesn’t it?

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 1

Yeah. Only the view was posh.

Yeah. Only the view was posh.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 2

The rest was Neo-Modern Flophouse, but I was only there for one night, so.

The rest was Neo-Modern Flophouse, but I was only there for one night. At least there were no bugs in the bed, and it’s not like it was dirty. Everything was reasonable, just not as nice as the view. Well, the armchair was pretty good.

I was only there for a quick job, and then it was onto a train to a ferry port and out to Awenia, where I was still mostly hiding out in the big forest and keeping far away from her up in Faerie. One of those “What Could Possibly Go Wrong” moments could have happened right then, except I was too smart for it. Totes McGoats.

All I had to do was show up at the Limenós main train station, cast a spell on a couple of marks, and then slip down into the station to head for the Dragonstar, and then home, or as close as I get to it these days. Simples. I didn’t even have to work too hard on the glamour, though of course it’s still not OK to be Svart Alfar no matter what Stupid Event Or Other has convinced people it’s OK to be Elfy in public or whatever.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 3

Gotcha! Spell went off without a hitch.

Gotcha! Spell went off without a hitch; these two marks couldn’t see Elfin magic for whatever reason, and I didn’t stick around to find out what the premixed spell was actually going to do to them; that’s above my pay grade most of the time. I was just happy they were parked on a side street and about to engage in the time-honoured tradition of pre-trip snogging to notice a shady elf in leather lurking around behind them. I do like it when they give me these jobs within walking distance of the getaway train, though. Makes for better reading, less indigestion, you get the picture. With an hour to go before my train left, I had enough time to get a good seat, maybe even upgrade a class and put my feet up for the ten-hour trek to the ferry port.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 4

There is no escape.

And although I was sure I wasn’t followed down into the subway that led to the Dragonstar platform, there is at least one entity I can’t get away from, and that’s her. Ever since it became socially acceptable across multiple Realms to be supernatural, She has been getting work as a model for some perfume company, and this fucking “We’re All Mad Here” advert has been everywhere. You can’t open a fucking magazine or in this case walk down a set of fucking steps without being fucking bombarded.

Yeah. This was all I needed. I should be steeled to it by now, but I just can’t move beyond being angry with regard to that little situation where she kept me prisoner for half a year and then didn’t even bother to talk to me. And then her house got blown up and she had other things to worry about. Bleah. I was going to need chocolate on the train, and lots of it. Luckily, Limenós is famous for very good chocolate, and I knew just the place to get some of the hot, liquid variety before I boarded the train and probably some of the dark, melt-in-your mouth type as well.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 5

Of course, then things got a little more complicated.

Of course, then things got a little more complicated.

Great. Of all the entities to run into at the bottom of a subway, I have to meet quite possibly the most attractive dark unicorn I’ve ever seen.

Now, if you’ve ever played the The Amazing Catwoman Home Game, you know that I once had to dress up as a fantasy novel cover and tag unicorns at some stupid unicorn preserve. And let’s just say that not very much has changed in the last three years since I had to do that gig.

So that’s why the unicorn looked at me and said, in a voice that brushed soft like feathers against my mind, because they don’t usually speak out loud, “Well met, elf maiden. Why must you cover your beautiful skin?”

I sighed. “You’re not long off the preserve, are you?”

“Long enough to know that companions such as you are a rarity here,” he replied smoothly.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 6

I tried to find a way to blame this on her.

I tried to find a way to blame this on her. Clearly the advert had summoned the worst possible encounter possible for me.

“Look, I’m sure you’re very nice and all….”

“You couldn’t pronounce it,” he said.

“Do you think I don’t know that? I’m sure you’re very nice and all, but I’ve got a train to catch.”

“Are you on the Dragonstar? That’s my destination as well. These Limenóans aren’t very good at recognising magical needs though, are they? They keep trying to give me apples. I mean, apples are OK….”

“…but chocolate is better.” I couldn’t resist.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 7

“You are so right!”

“You are so right!” He brought himself up to his full height, which was considerably taller than me.

“I don’t suppose, if you’re heading for the Dragonstar as well, that you’d mind getting a friendly mythical beast a bit of the old bitter cacao?”

I rolled my eyes. “I could trouble myself, but I’m in rather a hurry.”

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 8

He struck a gait.

He struck a gait. “Not to brag, but I’ve got a first class ticket and unicorns are always allowed a female travelling companion.” He snorted. “It’s meant to keep us calm.”

Suddenly this was all looking a bit more attractive. And besides, assuming someone did decide to come looking for me, who looks more innocent than an elfin maid (yes, fine!) accompanying a majestic unicorn? “Well, since you’ve appealed to my higher nature,” I said….

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 9

And that’s how I found myself on the back of a dark unicorn.

And that’s how I found myself on the back of a dark unicorn, buying chocolate at the poshest chocolate shop in the Limenós Main Station (and that’s pretty posh), and getting a quarter car to myself in first class with stable space for a unicorn and a bed three times as comfortable as the one I slept in last night.

TAC's unicorn BLOG - 10

I have no idea how long I’ll stay the travelling companion of a dark unicorn.

I have no idea how long I’ll stay the travelling companion of a dark unicorn, but things will rarely be dull. And who knows? It could be the start of a beautiful relationship. I can’t believe I actually just said that.

Sometimes, while my life is never exactly straightforward, it does not suck to be me.

Style Card:
Body: Maitreya
Head: LAQ, Lulu Bento Mesh Head
Hair: Argrace, Kazuha
Eyes: Anatomy, Meow Eyes
Ears: Gauze, High Elf Ears
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Story, Walnut (Available NOW at Designer Showcase!)
Tunic: Senzafine, Meilikki (Available NOW at We ❤ Role-play!)
Boots: Senzafine, Telcontar Boots
Bracers: Lakrya, Yasha Mesh Bracers (Available NOW at We ❤ Role-play!)
Necklace: Bliensen & Maitai, Celtic Collar (Available NOW at We ❤ Role-play!)

Unicorn: Water Horse, Riding Unicorn
Unicorn Skin: Wren Works, Black Opal
Unicorn Mane and Tail: Flying Horse Head Studios, Glitterati
Unicorn Hooves: Cinnamon, Elven Unicorn Hooves

“You Are About to go on a Long Journey….”

Well, all the fortunetellers say that, don’t they? And obviously, the Great Faire is coming up soon, so we will be taking a long journey there, and then the long journey of days itself so that we can enjoy the all-too-short wonders of the greatest gathering of folk in all the wide Realms.

But that chance meeting with the fortuneteller at the art gallery opening just made me think, and you know what happens when I think.

(Not that! Keep quiet, you cretins!)

What happens when I think is, I dream.

And I did in fact dream about going on a journey.

Journey BLOG - 1

A journey that required a boat.

A journey that required a boat.

I wasn’t quite myself on this journey.

Journey BLOG - 1 (2).png

And I had the certain knowledge that this was the most important journey I’d ever taken.

And I had the certain knowledge that this was the most important journey I had ever taken.

It’s funny, a dream like that, where you’re someone else. I could feel the knowledge of having navigated a small craft around into a closed harbour, the careful manoeuvring to get it up against the shore properly, the movement of the rudder. Before me, a great tree rose out of the grassy bank, and as I looked up into her branches, I could have sworn she wore the face of a woman.

Style Cards:

Gwyneth:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Vista Bento Mesh Head, Lia
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Spring (Available NOW at the Spring Flair Event!)
Eyes: Astrae, The Elder Eyes (Available NOW at The Makeover Room!)
Ears: Swallow, Noldor Elf Ears
Gown: Silvan Moon Designs, Sparrow Lightheart Gown (Available NOW at We ❤ RP!)
Wings: Evolved Creatures, Fae Wings v 2
Hair: Tableau Vivant, Selene
Headpiece: Nanika, Lesya Crown

Mysterious Blond Man:
Body: Signature Gianni
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Brent
Head: Catwa, Skell Bento Mesh Head
Hair: Lightstar, Baldur
Eyes: Anatomy, Emilio Eyes, Blue
Clothes: Silvan Moon Designs, Knight of Ravensgate Tunic (COMING SOON to the 2018 Second Life Relay for Life Fantasy Faire!)

Adorbs Fairy Boat: JTD Leaf Boat, textured and scripted by the amazing Kitori Unplugged, AKA Skeleton
Manly Viking-Style Boat, Hopscotch, I See The Light

Female Pose: An Lar, from the Jupiter Series
Male Pose: Exposeur, from the That Boy Series

Setting: Pacific Northwest Forest on Awenia, designed by Dyisi.

Unicorns and Kitty Cats

omg unicorns BLOG - 1

What is it with all these dreams about being a unicorn?

What is it with all these dreams about being a unicorn? I must be cracking under the pressure of trying to create a Fae tourism Realm. And seriously. These unicorns I’m hanging out with are… well, OK. They are so cute I may die. They all seem to be meeting cats. Norwegian Forest Cats, to be exact, and the cats frankly look a little bit out of place here. But then so do I. Don’t I?

omg unicorns BLOG - 3

I mean, obviously I don’t belong here.

I mean, obviously I don’t belong here. Just because I have golden sparkles and rainbow eyes, and OK, ears and  a horn and pastel hair…. crap.

omg unicorns BLOG - 4

Let’s focus on how the kids are getting along.

Let’s focus on how the kids are getting along. The unicorns seem OK with the whole thing, and the cats seem…. well, they seem a little bit suspicious. But wouldn’t you be, if you were a dignified Norwegian Forest Cat and your world was invited by pastel rainbow unicorns? Mmhmm.

omg unicorns BLOG - 9

I don’t think the unicorn knows you’re having a staring contest with her, Ginger….

I don’t think the unicorn knows you’re having a staring contest with her, Ginger…. Then again, maybe she is just really good at staring contests. I’m not one hundred percent sure these guys blink. Maybe they only blink when I blink.

omg unicorns BLOG - 7

Since I seem to be stuck here for the time being, I should at least *try* to frolic.

Since I seem to be stuck here for the time being, I should at least try to frolic. Although it looks like Grey Cat over there is thinking of taking his personal staring contest to the physical level. Adorbs Pastel Unicorn seems nonplused. You know, I keep seeing people use the word nonplused to mean that someone is bothered, when it actually means the exact opposite. In published books. So weird. Anyway, nonplused means not bothered. Rather blandly, emphatically not bothered, to be exact. OMG, “New York Times Bestselling Author”, dictionary much? And that’s another thing. “New York Times Bestselling Author” rather obviously means something very different from “Is on the New York Times Bestseller List”. Of this I am sure. Sorry. That was a tangent and two rants wrapped up together.

omg unicorns BLOG - 6

It wouldn’t be so bad to be a majestic unicorn, I suppose.

It wouldn’t be so bad to be a majestic unicorn, I suppose. But all this glitter is making my face itch.

omg unicorns BLOG - 5

Still at it with the staring contest, I see….

Still at it with the staring contest, I see. I’ll bet that cat wouldn’t move for anything. Hey, Ginger! You’re not going to alter your focus for anything, are you? Not even if I… yeah, I could probably stretch out right here and fall asleep on your back and you’d keep on staring, wouldn’t you?

Let’s test that theory.

omg unicorns BLOG - 10

Mm, soft fur, what better pillow could a girl — I mean a unicorn — want?

Mm, soft fur! What better pillow could a girl — I mean a unicorn — want? Maybe I’ll wake up back in the castle and away from this weird dreamscape. I hope they let me keep the cats, though….

Style Card:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Vista Bento Mesh Head, Lia
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Helana
Body Glitter: Crystal Gems, Omega Body Glitter Gold
Golden tears: E.V.E., Glitter Face Makeup Mask
Unicorn Ears, Tail, and Horn: The Plastik, Amalthe
Eyes: Anatomy, Real Eyes, Rainbow
Dress: Ersch, Swan Dress
Hooves, Catseye, Dainty Hooves
Hair: Truth, Athena

Unicorns: Nomi, My Little Unicorn Gacha (Available NOW at { Etoile })
Kitty Cats: Jian, Forest Cats, (Available NOW at Fameshed!)
Backdrop: Kraftwork and HERA, Chalk backdrops Gacha (RARE space)
Clouds: Stockholm & Lima
Poses: Bauhaus Movement