Three Twisted Knots

Not all those who wander are lost.

I can’t help it. I, The Amazing Catwoman, went years without binge television when all of this crazy stuff happened. Now that She (you know: Her Majesty The Precious And Snootyfaced Queen Gwyneth) has set up Awenia as a fae realm that actually embraces technology, I can’t stop myself. Despite the lack of technology in Westeros, I am …

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It is finally here: December in Awenia Faerie. There is so much more to do, but we are ready for our midwinter gatherings, snow lies thick on the ground, and there are beautiful things to see wherever you look. As Queen, I get the privilege of showing some of the highlights to you for the first …

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OK, so I just got here and have taken a couple of hours to put things together, and you guys are not going to believe this place! We’re going to have the best week ever. I met the Air B&B owners at their place in Awenia, and they showed me to the portal. I don’t know …

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Well, it finally happened. Her Majesty, Queen Gwyneth, Mistress of All She Surveys, had one of her people invite me for a morning tea in the Remembrance Garden. “Welcome,” she said, as if it were the most natural thing to be meeting up like this, after all this time. “I know I have promised you a face to …

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OK, so from time to time I get curious. And even though Bob (unicorns hate people names: I call him that to piss him off) and I have been having a great time frolicking around the great forest (more on that later), I decided it couldn’t hurt to check out what she is doing with Faerie. I mean, …

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“They comin’, Mama.” “Who comin’, chére?” “Spirits, Mama. They outside.” “You in the Hounfor again, chére? Without permission?” “I’m sorry, Mama. I was lookin’ at the books.” “You not old enough for them books, chére.” “I’m seventeen, Mama.” “Like I said.” “They gettin’ closer.” “Well, what did you think they was gonna do, chére? They always …

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It’s not like I just sit around eating bonbons, you know. Not like some faeries. No, I have to work for a living. And occasionally that means doing stuff I don’t like, even if I kind of do like it in the end. That probably made no sense, but I can clarify by telling you that I …

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So it seems the Powers That Be (whoever they are, may their Names be praised!) heard my cry! Just after I lamented about what a drag it is to be a Good Fairy Godmother, I was contacted by a Shadowy Force, who took me away to Evil Fairy Godmother Academy! It was just like all those …

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OK, I am fucking nervous about this “Art Teacher” gig. You can laugh ’til you spit, and I will still be nervous about it. Because I know what secondary school children are like: I was one not very long ago, and I was a holy fucking terror. Is this what an art teacher looks like? I’ve …

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Owen didn’t come. He sent some minion of his. I stood out in the fucking rain. On the fucking roof. He sent a minion, some half-grown boy. “We’ve got a job for you,” says this boy. “Do we,” I responded. “Owen needs you to come to his place, as a human, tomorrow evening. Here’s the address.” …

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