Three Twisted Knots

From Lira:

I’ve been reading up about the mating habits of the polar owl. Uggla could be gone until sometime in late August! Assuming he finds a compatible girlowl (and surely he has, or he’d be back by now), they will co-nest in a nice little ground hideaway, and there could be like a dozen eggs! (Not like that. A dozen eggs that will hatch into owls.) And, like, he didn’t mention how long he’d be gone. Maybe he didn’t know. He also didn’t mention that arctic owls often mate for life. Wikipedia says that most of the year they lead solitary hunting lives, but they come together during the summer months for their breeding season. And then there was this really long explanation of owl courtship. The male owl courts the girlowl with food. Like he brings her his best hunts and catches.

It occurs to me that I may have something in common with girlowls. I am very partial to a good meal.

‘You know he’s probably never coming back, right?’ Way to make me feel secure in myself, TAC. She was visiting because apparently she needed to take the couch I actually liked away. She replaced it with something I also like, but I don’t know if it goes as well with the carpet. ‘Recarpeting or recolouring a carpet isn’t a problem, Lira,’ she said. I know she was trying to reassure me. ‘I can have one of the Awenia demifae come round and take care of that for you; just say when.’

I’d already zoned out. ‘He said he was coming back,’ I said. Great: I sound like Friðrós now.

‘This is why I don’t take up with men,’ TAC replied. ‘Just me and my work. Look, you should, I don’t know. Get out somewhere. You liked the Pride in the park, didn’t you?’

I swallowed. ‘I went, yeah,’ I said. ‘There were a lot of people. The music was OK. Transport there and back was really efficient?’

‘Great!’ The Amazing Catwoman may be a lot of things — a great spy, a savvy investor, good to have on your side in a fight — but understanding the nuances of my communication style is seemingly beyond her. ‘I think you should branch out in other ways, too. Look, I booked you a campsite up on Sidimma over the weekend. No need for you to work straight through: plus I have a couple of clients coming in to visit the Caverns and I’d like to put them up here.’

I gaped. Like, I know this isn’t my house, but this is my house. ‘Um, OK, I guess,’ I said. ‘The bedroom is a mess.’

‘I’ll get it cleaned before and after; don’t you worry,’ TAC said. ‘They’re arriving tomorrow lunchtime, so let’s get you geared up. You’re right next to a lake, and the weather’s meant to be mild, so I got you a bathing suit.’ She winked. ‘I hope you like it. Oh,’ she continued, ‘And you’d better take Slaine. I’ll take Dorcha to the Cavern livery for the weekend: he’ll be spoiled out of his tiny mind.’

‘He’s not dumb,’ I muttered, but I don’t think she heard me.

And that’s how I ended up here, in what I guess must be an idyllic clearing beside a small lake not far from the big lake, Sidimma. It’s a good thing I packed extra books.

‘I don’t know how you can just lie here in the moonlight and read,’ said Slaine. She didn’t even bother to stifle her yawns (she never does; I’m told this is the way of cats). ‘We’ve been here for weeks. When do we get to go back home? I even miss Dorcha.’

Whenever Slaine yawns, I have to yawn too. I don’t know what that’s about. ‘We have been here for one full day, Slaine,’ I said. ‘Tonight is our second night. We go home tomorrow.’

‘But I’m bored. Fish don’t want to play with me, bugs fly away too fast, and have you seen a single songbird? I have not. And you,’ she accused, ‘did not bring any of my toys.’

I turned a page I hadn’t even read. ‘I brought your fuzzy ball and that thing with the feathers you like,’ I replied. I tried to keep from sounding irritated. I don’t think I succeeded, because she batted at my page and caught my hand with a claw. ‘Ouch!’

‘You made me,’ she said. ‘You just waved that page in front of me; what’s a cat gonna do?’

‘Let’s get something to eat,’ I said. I closed the book and we shared some of the basket food from DragonDash TAC had thoughtfully included. Slaine doesn’t think cat food is actual food, I have found. It’s OK for basic sustenance, she says, but her bond with me is incomplete unless she shares my meals. All of them. I made quick work of the small meal and made sure Slaine got plenty of roast beef. Luckily, she doesn’t like sweets, so most of the cake was for me, except she had to lick it a little, just to make sure she didn’t want any.

‘Ooh, did you hear that?’

‘I did not,’ I replied.

‘Stupid bipeds with your whack hearing,’ she said.

‘I heard that,’ I replied.

‘Look: I have to go check this out. I’ll try to make it back before you pass out from boredom trying to read that book,’ she said.

I bit back my response that this was the third book I’d brought and if I finished it tonight, tomorrow was going to be a nightmare. I do not think I like camping.

Campfires, however, are another story. When the wind picked up, I looked around briefly for Slaine, but she’s a smart kitty: she’ll find her way back. I hope. ‘I hope it doesn’t rain,’ I said to no-one. ‘That would impede my ability to stare at this campfire.’ As if in answer, the wind picked up a little, but the ever-present mist seemed to clear somewhat and I could see a cloudless, starry sky above. Oh, good.

I heard a rustling in the undergrowth and turned to see Slaine returning, looking none too happy. ‘False alarm,’ she said. ‘Either that or I’ve lost my edge, and we both know that could not happen.’

‘Mm.’ Best not to offer an opinion one way or the other here: she’s prone to drama when bored. ‘Are you ready for sleep?’

‘Aren’t you going to try to play the guitar again?’ That was definitely a cat smirk.

I looked at the guitar leaning against one of the sitting stumps (they’re surprisingly comfortable!). ‘No. I don’t even know why TAC put that in the bag of holding.’

Slaine hissed a laugh. ‘Sure, let’s have some cuddle time.’ Then, she proceeded to clean her face for a solid half hour.

It was all right: I was still able to see the fire, magically crackling away. TAC said we should roast marshmallows, but I don’t know how to do that, so we haven’t. Eventually, I stretched out, pushed the book away, and settled in for the night. It was so warm I didn’t even change into my pyjamas. Besides, what’s not to love about a sparkly black bikini?

Slaine Speaks:

Time passed. Couple of hours, maybe. Lira eventually fell into a deep sleep, like some humans do. She doesn’t smell like a human, but who knows these days?

The night got very dark, just like I like it. And there was another rustling of branches. I slunk out of the tipi to investigate.

No sooner had I clocked where the rustling came from than there was a flash of brilliant white in the moonlight, and then a very large white bird — wearing a top hat and round specs — alit on a stump.

‘I know who you are,’ I hissed. So what if this bird was bigger than me? He clearly needed intimidating.

‘One up on me then,’ came the growly response. Birds talk funny. ‘She doing OK?’ He flicked a wing in Lira’s direction.

‘She’s perfectly fine, no thanks to you,’ I said. ‘You can just run off and leave bipeds. They freak out. She’s worried about you.’

‘Can’t come back just now; got nestlings and mate to feed.’ He preened a wing, possibly pleased with himself. What a schmuck. ‘Come round sometimes to make sure she’s still breathing. Don’t want her to see me.’

‘Why? Did you get Uggla-er?’ I crack myself up.

He stared at me, yellow eyes over spectacles he couldn’t possibly need: owls are meant to have excellent eyesight. ‘Not ugly. I have the perfect mate, and we have eight beautiful owlets.’

‘Congratulations. Really.’ I’m sure he thought I was sincere. ‘Don’t worry: Dorcha and I are taking good care of her.’

‘Dorcha is the horse? Horses are dumb.’

‘Funny, I heard that about owls. Do you want me to give her a message?’

‘No; I don’t want her to pine away for me.’

Lira grumbled in her sleep, turned over, then turned back to the exact position she’d been earlier. ‘Yeah; she’s obviously unable to go on without you.’

‘No need to be mean,’ he said. Oh, so there was some nuance in that featherhead. ‘I’ll be back in autumn once they’ve left the nest. Won’t see her again for a couple of years: she likes the solo hunting life. Ooh!’ He let out a soft hoot, lifted so fast I could barely track the movement, despite that ridiculous hat. He came back with, I kid you not, a mole. ‘Here. Too far to fly it back to her; moles are better when they’re fresh.’

OK, maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. ‘When you come back we should go hunting together.’

He rotated his head to an obscene angle and looked sideways at me. ‘Sure. Could be worse I guess: you could be a dog.’

I hissed. ‘How dare you.’

He laughed. ‘Dogs suck at hunting. Too noisy.’

‘I agree,’ I said through half a bite of moleflesh. ‘Ah, nothing like fresh mole.’

‘Just don’t tell her I’m never coming back, OK? That dark elf says shit like that. I don’t like her.’

‘Mmgf.’ I swallowed. ‘Yeah, she’s weird, but she buys the cat food.’

Lira mumbled something. That spooked him. ‘Yeah. Gotta go.’ And he was gone before I could say goodbye.

That was a mighty good mole, though. And in the morning, we were finally, after weeks, going home.

Notes & Credits:

(Sponsored items as always are noted with a “*”)

Featured:

• Lira’s itsy bitsy teeny weeny sparkly glitter black bikini: Miamai, Vera Glitter Black Bikini*. This is a Lazy Sunday item, just $L75 per colour until the 7th of July. No need to resist!
• Lira’s Sultry For Summer Eyeshadow: Hexumbra, Dayna Eye Makeup*. Part of the Chaos Collection, volume 5 and available at the Beach Pop Hunt through July 19.
• The astounding eyes: Hexumbra, Audrey Pride Eyes*, available at the Hexumbra Main Store.
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• The Rose Eyebrow Facepaint, and the Yeats Quote tattoo: safe for mortals, Rose Brow, Dancer. More details coming soon.
• Slaine and Uggla, expertly portrayed by CKit Falconry’s Maine Coon Brown Tabby Cat* and Magical Snowy Owl Pet Companion*. Both of these exceptional animesh pets are available at the CKit Falconry Main Store.
• Cosy Tipi: Moss & Luna, Boho Teepee. Available at the Moss & Luna Main Store.

Other Fancy Stuff:

• Lira’s Hair:
  • Non-Windy: Truth, Posession.
  • Windy: Truth, Odyssey.
• Lira’s Owl Plugs: FaeTal, Kalise for Swallow Pixie Female Gauged Ears.
• Bat Chokeer: Swallow, Vampy Choker.
• Lira’s Glasses: Everlune, Starfall Spectacles.
• Lipstick: DeeTalez, Glossy Dust Lips, Rose
• Skin: EnLight’s gorgeous Jon, available at the Enlight Main Store.
• Guitar: Apple Fall, Martin Busker Guitar.
• Picnic Supplies:
  • Wine and glasses: Kraftwork.
  • Full Basket: Chez Moi
  • Closed Basket: Onyx Mole (part of the summer Premium and Premium+ gifts)
• The set: Studio Skye, Enchanted Pond, Enchanted Woods