I will be talking to the manager.

I answered them all. All the questions. I was truthful. I was clear. I did not mince words or skip things or dance around subjects. And it seemed pretty straightforward. You apply to be in a fairy tale, and you tell them what kind of fairy tale you want to be in, and you pay the deposit, and then they put you in the fairy tale.

Does this look like a castle to you?

Does this look like a castle to you? No? That’s right! It’s not a castle. I was very very clear about that. I said I wanted to live in a castle. Not once did I use the word cottage. Not once did I use the word hovel.

And yet, here I am.

And yet, here I am. It’s been a week. My notes go unanswered, even though I put them in the post box as indicated. The three women who live here and take care of me insist that I call them my Aunties. They call me “Little Fair One” to my face, and “Little Smart Mouth” when they think I can’t hear them.

At least something about this place is smart, hm?

At least something about this place is smart, hm? I mean, obviously, Sleeping Beauty at least in a couple of versions, lived with three transformed fairies who took care of her until she pricked her finger anyway, but that is not what I signed up for; it’s not what I paid a deposit for, and no-one seems to be responding to my strongly-worded notes. I don’t know how these people expect to keep a fairytale tourism business running if they offer such poor service.

Ooh, golly, let me show you round my humble home!

Ooh, golly, let me show you round my humble home! And I do mean humble. Here is the entry foyer; as you can see, there are no footmen, no servants, not even a mouse to take my cape. There is a hall stand, a stairway, and that’s pretty much it.

The Aunties spend a lot of time here in the kitchen.

The Aunties spend a lot of time here in the kitchen, which means I spend as little time here as possible. Would you believe they tried to get me to peel potatoes my first night? Potatoes? I explained to them that carbs are really bad for me. Auntie One (I have no idea what their names are) said, “Oh, well, I guess we can substitute with carrots.” Wow.

Their lounge is full of kitsch

Their lounge is full of kitsch and mementos from their pasts, maybe? Or maybe they’re just props. Pictures and silhouettes of former residents, Half a tonne of music boxes. I asked about some of them. “Oh, that was one of our favourite Little Fair Ones,” they said, about the blonde cherub on the wall there. “She went on to do great things.” Then One clucked at Three and Two gave them both a dark look and they all three shut up. At least there are books there, and at least they don’t bother me too much. Funny they haven’t even asked me about any balls or anything. I’ve been here a week. Maybe management has already contacted them about the mistake and they’re just waiting for the fix. Yesterday, a spinning wheel appeared by the lounge front window. I think they’re just torturing me now.

My little room might as well be for a servant!

And speaking of torture— my little room might as well be for a servant! It doesn’t even have a proper door. I mean, sure, it’s got some castle décor and there’s a pillow with a crown on it, but other than that, I’m experiencing the top of the wattle-and-daub line, here. And that’s not a compliment. I’m taking a lot of snapshots to make my eventual complaint more colourful when I finally make it back home.

Well, sometimes we just have to take matters into our own hands.

Well, sometimes we just have to take matters into our own hands, don’t we. I’m going upstairs with a pair of scissors, I am. And I’m ripping that crown off the pillow. That’s what I’m going to do.

It should be hours before the Aunties get back from market day.

It should be hours before the Aunties get back from market day. They were gone ’til nearly midnight last time, and they came back with hardly any shopping. The market must be a long way away and it must not have very much, is all I’m saying.

Out in the front garden, there’s a statue of a dragon guardian, and I’m sure he can help me out. Dragons always know what to do.

C’mon, help me out here!

C’mon, help me out here! I paid good money for this, and I know you must have a direct line to whomever’s in charge. Anybody with a big glowing orb is important; at least that’s what my GM always says. You don’t want to be named in my official complaint, do you? Just get me out of here, OK? This is not what I paid for.

Notes & Credits:

Enchantment’s Sleeping Beauty round closes on the 31st of August! That’s in just a few days. So you only have a few days to rush down there and fulfil all your fairytale needs! This is a great round, full of beautiful story-inspired items for your home, great clothes, beautiful hair, accessories, and some surprises that you didn’t know you needed until now.

Pictured items featured at Enchantment:

  • Hair & Crown: Love, Rose Hair
  • House: Hisa, Merrywether Cottage
  • Porch Dragons: Banana Peel: Dragons O De Moors
  • Princess Bedroom: StarSugar, Sleeping Beauty Gacha Items, including: Bed, Side Table, Crown Pillow, & Pink Rug
  • Dragon Statue: Cerridwen’s Cauldron, The Guardian Statue

Other Nifty Stuff
(Avatar):

  • Skin: Wyrd, Saga, T2
  • Body: Maitreya
  • Head: Catwa, Blueberry
  • Eyes: Avi-Glam, Siren Eyes
  • Ears: Andore, Delfiya Ears
  • Necklace: Rise Design, Cap d’Agde Necklace
  • Gown: Silvan Moon Designs, Princess Buttercup Gown

Other Nifty Stuff
(Environment):

  • Hall Stand: Second Spaces, Coven Hall Stand
  • Hall Desk: Kraftwork, Fairy Cottage Desk
  • Hall Desk Knicknacks, 3rd Eye Twisted Fables, Fairy Gifts
  • Living Room
    • Light: Petrichor, Triin Celestial Lamp
    • Couch: Kraftwork, Fairy Cottage Couch
    • End Tables: Petrichor, Clarus Table (short)
    • Lamps: Kraftwork, Fairy Cottage Old Lamp
    • Table Under Window: Petrichor, Clarus Table (long, cloth)
    • Wand Stand: Petrichor, Rinik Wandholder
    • Book: The Plastik, Anthophilia Book
    • Hourglass: Ohmai, 100 Years Of Waiting Hourglass*
    • Spinning Wheel: HopScotch, 100 Years Of Sleep*
    • Book Stack: 3rd Eye Perceptions, Grimm Storys book 1
    • Bookshelf: Moonlight Shadow, Old Bookshelf A Iron
    • Music Boxes: Various, from The Looking Glass, 3rd Eye Perceptions, Aine Marie Flanagan (I collect SL music boxes; contact me for details)
  • Kitchen
    • All kitchen fixtures: Artisan Fantasy, fantasy kitchen
    • Table: Apple Fall, Pottery Dining Table
    • Chairs: Apple Fall, Steadfast Dining Chairs
    • Chandelier: Di’Cor, Jacqueline Chandelier
    • Wall Art: The Looking Glass, Live, Love, Laugh Succulents

All poses: An Lar
Photographic lighting: LumiPro & Nifty Windlights
Post Editing: Affinity Photo on a 16″ MacBook Pro

* Way back in the long-ago, there was another kind of Enchantment event. These two items are from the Sleeping Beauty round of that event. I was, no pun intended, enchanted to find that I still had a few things from that event in my inventory, and it was fun to use them in photos for this one.

How I learned to stop worrying and become a witch!

New Blog Headers - 9

Gwyneth:

The dreams aren’t stopping, but they are changing. I’m not always myself in them. Or I’m playing out incarnations that are so far away from my actual life that their outcomes seem irrelevant to me. Maybe that’s what it is to look at things through the dispassionate eye of the Unseelie. This one left me with a good feeling: even though the dream protagonist was definitely me, she wasn’t operating in some way that seemed to want to teach me some kind of lesson, for which I was grateful.

I woke up in the late morning with this dream completely alive in my mind, so the first thing I did was go someplace where I could write it down.

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It was gonna be the best Christmas ever.

It was gonna be the best Christmas, ever. But then Jamie said, ‘Did you talk to the fucking fairies, Gwen? Did you? Because they will fuck our shit up, and then where will we be?’

And I’m all, ‘No, Jamie, I didn’t talk to no fairies: the stuff just fucking appears, and I am thinking, “Gosh, we will have a really cool storybook Christmas, just this once”. I swear, I didn’t talk to none of them. I don’t know why they follow me around’.

And then Ella gets into it, and she’s all, ‘Oh, look, little miss princess priss; the tree I put up in the car ain’t good enough for you, so you gotta go kiss up to some fairy prince, let him put his nasty tongue in your mouth or something, all so you can have hot chocolate and candy apples?’

I start to cry. ‘No, no, no! It just fucking appeared! What do you guys want me to do, burn the shit? The grass is too dry for that. Might as well eat the goddamn candy apples.’

Jamie folds his hands. ‘Fucking long-haired witch’, he says, and his voice is all hissy.

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‘I ain’t no goddamn witch!’

‘I ain’t no goddamn witch!’ I reply, and I’m angry now, even though I’m still crying. ‘Y’all need to get off my fucking case. It’s a few cups of hot chocolate, some cookies, and a basket of apples. Jesus fucking Christ, you’d think the world just ended.’

‘You need to keep a grip on your language and stop talking about the Lord’, Emma says, speaking of prim and prissy. ‘And I seen you looking at the witch’s house’, she adds. ‘I know you been there’.

Jamie just stares at me.

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I can feel myself folding in.

I can feel myself folding in. I know this ain’t going nowhere. ‘I ain’t been to the witch’s house’, I repeat. ‘I ain’t’.

‘You and your long yella hair’, Emma teases. ‘Someday, somebody gonna push you into a river, and then you gonna become somebody’s fiddle’.

‘I ain’t nobody’s fiddle’, I said.  And then I just stomped into the car.

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Fucking fine. If that’s what they want from me, then fine.

Fucking fine. If that’s what they want from me, then fine. I find mum’s old scissors: they’re a bit rusty, but they’ll do, and I start chopping my hair off, crying buckets the whole time. I’m vaguely conscious of Emma and Jamie coming in and telling me they’re sorry, they didn’t mean it, they just didn’t want me to go eating fairy food and they were scared of the candy apple tree and the hot chocolate and the cookies, but I just keep on chopping.

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In the end, it’s uneven and I wrap this old Gryffindor scarf around my neck to hide the ends.

In the end, it’s uneven, and I wrap this old Gryffindor scarf around my neck to hide the ends.

‘It don’t look that bad’, Jamie says. ‘You don’t have to be wearing that scarf. It’ll grow back in just fine. I’m sorry, Gwyn’.

I just look at him.

Emma says she’s gonna test out the candy apples to see if they’re poisoned because she’s got a strong stomach. I just shake my head. ‘After all that, you’re gonna eat the goddamn apples’, I say.

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Well, fuck that.

Well, fuck that. I dry my tears, go outside to the candy apple tree, and I have two apples and a parfait before the other two can follow me out of the train car, yelling all the time. I smile. ‘That tasted good’, I say. ‘Real good’.

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‘And you know what?’ I add. ‘Fuck you both. I’m leaving’.

‘And you know what?’ I add. ‘Fuck you both. I’m leaving. You just try to survive round here without me cooking and cleaning for the two of you; just try not to get picked up by the dults from the village when I’m not here to keep you safe and look like I’m twenty when I’m only fifteen. You just fucking try’.

Emma’s in tears. ‘Gwyn, you can’t go!’ she cries. ‘You done got magicked by something was in those apples! You don’t know what you’re saying!’

Jamie stares at me with his arms folded. ‘I can look twenty’, he says.

‘Fuck you, Jamie; you’re only twelve, and you’re scrawny’, Emma retorts.

But I already have my back to them. Their squabbling fades like the horizon behind me.

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And that’s how I left my little brother and sister and became a witch’s apprentice.

And that’s how I left my little brother and sister and became a witch’s apprentice. I just walked into the wood, toward the twinkling lights of the witch’s house, and I knocked on the door.

I don’t even know what happened to those two brats. And you know what? I don’t care.

Style Card:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Destiny
Ears: Mandala, Steking Ears, Season 5
Eyes: Mesange, First Date Eyes (Omega appliers)
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Enya, Powder NEW! (Omega face appliers, Maitreya body appliers) Body appliers available at the 7 Deadly s{K}ins Main Store!
Hair: Wasabi Pills — First four photos, Romy (Available at ULTRA!) Last four photos, Aspen (Available at The Forest!)
Jacket: DE Designs, Dana (Available at We ❤ RP!)
Jeans: Zhora Designs, High Waist Jeans Blue (Maitreya Applier)
Boots: Paper Moon, Huck Boots

Post-Apocalyptic Train Car: Death Row Designs, Post Apocalyptic Holiday Set, COMING SOON from Death Row Designs!
Tree Table, Tree Chairs, Hot Chocolate, and Cookies: Moonlight Shadow, Snack Tree Gacha (Available at Enchantment!)
Candy Apple Tree, Chair, Side Table, Candy Apple Cushion, Basket of Candy Apples, and Candy Apple Parfait: The Looking Glass, Candy Apple Tree Gacha (Available at Enchantment!)
Sparkly Grass: Happy Mood, Sweet Garden Grass
Three Ash Trees: Jian, Ash Tree (triple)
Green, Brown & Lavender Grasses: The Little Branch, Wild Grass
Twisty Tree: Rivendale, Faerie Tree
Surrounding Forest: Studio Skye, Enchanted Woods

Poses: An Lar, from Woodland, Chaos, and All That series

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never create post-apocalyptic worlds where it’s nicer to run away and be a witch than take care of your kid brother & sister without it!

wasabi_logo_2012_512x512   7ds   1deathrownewlogo