The Gypsy Davey:
The boys and I have spent the last three weeks working in an apple orchard in one of the Enchanted realms. Sure, we’re probably working for the Wicked Witch, but the pay is good and we get to take apples back to camp, where some of the men are making cider and all of the women are making pies and tarts. Apple season is a wondrous time. And as we’re heading in to the dark half of the year, many of us on the Old Paths are about to celebrate the year’s turning. At this time of the year, everyone seems to want a little Romany spice in their wine, if you know what I mean, so I haven’t been surprised at the number of invitations that have been coming to the early autumn campfires. We throw many of them away, as they seem to be thinly-veiled attempts to lure our virgins away for this or that nefarious purpose. And of course we Gypsies don’t really have a lot of ignorant women in our midst: these requests make us laugh.
But one came through a few days ago that intrigued me:
Wanted: Male Model for Wedding Suits. Must be Medium Sized and Irresistible To Women.
There was some laughter when the boy handed me that one. They knew I wouldn’t be able to, well, resist that invitation.
It was signed, Opelia DeRouen, Clothier, Armand Road
Well. I had the boy prepare a response to tell her I’d be round the following morning. Who could resist an invitation like that?
The house looked like it had been plucked out of a Louisiana town.
The house looked like it had been plucked out of a Louisiana town, though its forested grounds reminded me more of New England.
The sign on the door read, “Clothier”, so I guessed I’d come to the right place.
The sign on the door read Clothier, so I guessed I’d come to the right place.
“Mais, don’t linger in doorways, cher,” Ophelia opened the door before I knocked. “Folks’ll think you a vampire.” She was a tiny little woman, dressed conservatively, all smiles. “Let me get you some tea, oui? And you try on that suit on the blue dress form, the black one, while I’m out.”
OK, no pleasantries, just the offer of a cup of tea and a request to get started. Clearly, I passed muster. I smiled to myself as I tried on the first suit. It felt as if it fitted perfectly.
“What do you think, cher?” she called from the kitchen.
“What do you think, cher?” she called from the kitchen.
“I like it!” I called back. I adjusted my celtic cross so it fitted over the shirt. People are always giving me celtic crosses; I’m not sure why. I looked around at the other suits: one was a deep purple, so deep it was almost black, and there was a shocking pink one on a rack.
“What are all these for?”
“What are all these for?” I asked.
“Goth wedding,” she replied. “Bride’s worried the men won’t come in proper attire, so she wants a bunch of these made up in standard sizes for guests to change in to when they arrive.” She laughed from the kitchen; I could hear the old-fashioned stovetop kettle begin to boil, but she was back in the parlour, measuring my inseam and that, before the tea could have been poured up. “Ah, there we go. Just a couple of alterations and it should be perfect.” She eyed me from top to bottom. “I knew I’d find the right size man down the gypsy camp. Now you try on this next one and I’ll get back to that tea.”
“Do you need several different styles?” I wondered.
“Do you need several different styles?” I wondered. “I like the tails on this one!”
“I do love me a good tail coat,” she called back from the kitchen. “Lady ain’t sure which one she’s going to pick; I think money will be a consideration here, of course; she wants five each in five different sizes, so these are the models. This one is most versatile: boys could choose cummerbund and tie colours as they pleased. Do take that beautiful hair down, cher.”
I smiled to myself.
I pulled my hair down out of what the boys laughingly call my “man bun”.
I pulled my hair down out of what the boys laughingly call my “man bun”. So she wanted to see the Gypsy with his hair unbound. Perhaps there was more to this little meet and greet than a quick modelling session, after all.
“What’s the pink one for?” I wondered as I shook my hair out and combed it with my fingers.
“Oh, now I don’t think this one needs any alteration at all,” she said as she returned to the parlour with two cups of what smelled like good black tea. She set them both down on the one uncluttered surface in the room, the old-fashioned treadle sewing machine. “I know, I know, cher,” she said when she caught me looking at it. “It’s old, but nothing sews as straight or as pretty a seam, and tailoring’s loving work: everything’s got to look perfect, at least to me it does.”
I nodded. The tea was still too hot to drink. “Have you got milk?”
“Oui, cher;” she said. “Just let me pin this quick: now don’t move or you’ll stick yourself.”
I stayed still. “What’s the pink suit for?” I asked again, but she was already off to the kitchen again.
“You want sugar, cher?”
“You want sugar, cher?”
“Sure!” I called back. I shifted carefully and took a long look at the pink suit. “No but really, what’s the pink suit for?”
She laughed. “You done asked me three times, so I’ll tell you,” she replied.
Ah, the Enchanted Lands. Everything goes by the Rule of Three here.
“It’s a commission, for the King of the Bean. He’s won his throne at Lughnasadh, you know, and he reigns until Samhain, when we dress him up and bring in the Winter King for the season.”
I nodded. “That’s some suit.”
She laughed. “Why don’t you try it on? I think it’ll fit you,” she called from the kitchen. “I’m just digging around for the sugar.”
So I put it on, complete with a set of pink boots. Everything fit perfectly.
So I put it on, complete with a set of pink boots. Everything fit perfectly.
“Fits like a glove!” I exclaimed.
She returned from the kitchen, eyed me critically. “You sure do look good with your hair unbound, cher,” she said.
“No, really; it fits perfectly,” I said. “Is your Bean King the same size as me?”
“Nope; he’s quite a bit taller than you, and somewhat more towheaded,” she said with a laugh. “Suit’s magic.”
Of course. I turned toward Ophelia. “You have a remarkable talent,” I said.
Her brown eyes sparked up at me. “How much sugar you want in that tea, cher?”
“Two spoonfuls,”I replied. “And a splash of milk.”
“Just a splash?” She was flirting with me, of course. “Let’s give you a sploosh instead.”
I laughed. “Whatever you say, my lady,” I said. “You have the most remarkable eyes, Ophelia.”
“Call me Ophie,” she replied. “All my friends do.”
Despite the loveliness of the other suits, I couldn’t get over the fit of the pink one.
Despite the loveliness of the other suits, I couldn’t get over the fit of the pink one.
“I don’t know why I like this so much,” I said with a little laugh. “I never imagined myself wearing so much pink at one time before.”
She smiled up at me. “That’s the magic in the suit, cher.” She winked. “You like it now, but you learn to love it later.”
Definitely flirting. I chuckled. “Oh!” I looked across the room. “Do you do cakes as well?”
“Oh, no; the cakes are just there for the bride to look over,” she said.
“Oh, no; the cakes are just there for the bride to look over,” she said. “My fried Page does them. Gorgeous, aren’t they?”
I couldn’t take my eyes off the captured raven. “How do you do that?”
“She does it,” she reminded me. “Magic. The rose too.” She patted the seat beside her on the single couch in the parlour. “Why don’t you sit down next to me and enjoy that tea?”
“Don’t you want me to take the suit off first?” I asked.
Her smile broadened. “Oh, no, cher,” she said. “I like you so much in that suit. We’ll take it off together later.”
I could get to like modelling wedding clothes for seamstresses.
Style Cards:
First Suit:
Body: SLink
Head: My own
Ears: Mandala Steking Ears Season 5
Hair: Argrace, Takeshi
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, August Limited Skin (Available now at the 7 Deadly s{K}ins Main Store!) Appliers for SLink Male body also NOW AVAILABLE!
Suit and Shoes: Beyond Persuasion Designs, Midnight Gardens Principality Suit (Available now at Everlasting Love of the Night: A Gothic Wedding Affair!)
Necklace: Glint, Celtic Cross Necklace (a Glint MegaHunt Gift!)
Second Suit:
Body: SLink
Head: My own
Ears: Mandala Steking Ears Season 5
Hair: Argrace, Takeshi
Hair (down): Calico, Caden
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, August Limited Skin (Available now at the 7 Deadly s{K}ins Main Store!) Appliers for SLink Male body also NOW AVAILABLE!
Suit and Shoes: Avatar Bizarre, Dante Tux & Crowley Boots (Available now at Everlasting Love of the Night: A Gothic Wedding Affair!)
Necklace: Glint, Celtic Cross Necklace (a Glint MegaHunt Gift!)
Third Suit (Yes, the pink one!):
Body: SLink
Head: My own
Ears: Mandala Steking Ears Season 5
Hair (down): Calico, Caden
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, August Limited Skin (Available now at the 7 Deadly s{K}ins Main Store!) Appliers for SLink Male body also NOW AVAILABLE!
Suit: Brocade Tiger, Flamingo Tux (A Femboy Hunt Gift!)
Shoes: FateStep, Anthony Boots
Necklace: Glint, Celtic Cross Necklace (a Glint MegaHunt Gift!)
Cakes: Page Creations, (L-R), Captured Raven Fantasy Cake, Black and White Lotus Cake, Captured Rose Fantasy Cake (Available now at Everlasting Love of the Night: A Gothic Wedding Affair!)
House: DustBunny, WildRose Manor (Available at Collabor88!)
Autumn Forest: Studio Skye, Enchanted Forest
Sign: Lost Junction, Port Town Signs, Clothier (from a past Fantasy Gacha Carnival)
Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never leave home without it!
Special thanks to Deva Westland, who lent me a vital prop for this scene!
Also thank you to FabFree blogger WHC Riler, who blogged about the Brocade Tiger suit and had me entranced from sentence number 1!
