How To Remember The Perfect Storm

This is the story of a rooftop and a memory, a memory I remade because it needed to change, and I will start from the end and then jump right back to the beginning, because I’ve recently learned that not everyone does this.

I am a historical revisionist, I guess. Because here is the memory I remade. It’s my first trip to Røyken since—well, since some things changed a bit in the universe. I guess you could say the universe itself is somewhat of a historical revisionist, but that’s another topic for another time.

First, I’ll show you the finale of the remade memory. The thing about remaking a memory is to change only the parts that give you distress and keep all other details exactly the same, if you can.

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Dancing on a Røyken Roof

Sometimes as I’ve aged, I’ve had a nostalgic longing to revisit the city I grew up in, which you probably know as Røyken, but in my mind is always known by its alternative name, London. You might even meet some people there, should you ever visit, who prefer to call their city ‘London’, but I suspect those folk, or I should say their desire to speak that name, are a dwindling breed.

Anyway.

I went to the Skredder School, which if you know Røyken you may think of as a bit posh. I really went there because my adoptive parents were both employed by Gullsmed, and the school was about halfway between their work and our home. That sounds flippant, but my mum used to swear it was true. They’d only just moved to Røyken when I arrived on the scene, and they knew next to nothing about schools, so they went with the (thankfully accurate) recommendations of their new coworkers. I guess it helped that their coworkers were all university lecturers.

Skredder was made up of a bunch of buildings, all from different times and aesthetics because the school grew and expanded over the years, but my home base building was the arts and humanities school, and I’d call it Brutalist now; when I was a kid we just called it ugly. But it was cheap and functional, I guess, and the building was maybe from the 1960s? I don’t know. And people call a lot of things Brutalist when they’re not actually. I am probably one of those people.

Anyway.

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The Roof

If you knew the way, you could get on to the roof of the Skredder arts and humanities building. And I knew the way.

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Rain

My memories of the Skredder roof are all about quiet times, sitting up there writing, listening to the hum of industrial fans, being alone. I wasn’t always alone; it was just a big roof.

Anyway, it was school holidays on this visit. So I figured, I’ll go up to the roof.

It started pouring at some point. I don’t usually mind the rain, but on this day as it moved toward evening I just wasn’t prepared for it.

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It just figured.

I guess I had expectations. Anyway, it pissed me off. And the roof really was empty, and the rain came down in sheets, and my glamoured umbrella at least was pretty, but it made me remember.

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Isolation

It made me remember that I did not spend all my time on the Skredder roof happily writing and planning and singing and dancing like some manic pixie dream girl.

The fact is, I was a lonely kid. And my efforts to fit in and be like the girls I knew at school took work and energy. There were a lot of tears, I remember. I remember lots of tears from when I was in school, and then suddenly there were tears again. Me, an ageless Sidhe, bawling my eyes out on a rooftop.

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Nothingness

There was this sense that with the cloud cover so thick and the rain so dense and the light so dim and blue, that nothing beyond the roof could possibly exist, nothing. Because school wasn’t in session, there weren’t even any lights through the skylights.

I remember the sky darkening and that smell, ozone, coming. And I was so angry, so full of resentment for this force I could not control in Røyken. Too many variables in a big city, too many warring magical factions: one wrong weather change could start a witch war, and there is nothing so messy as a witch war. Never mind that I am not actually a witch: witches have this idea that they are the only existent magic, and even if I’d done the whole thing with good old OTO precision, the witches, particularly Røyken witches, if I’m honest, would just assume the change came from one of them and fight first, ask questions later.

So years later, when I think of that visit to Skredder, all I had was this sorrow, this self-pity, and this completely tangental rage toward Røyken trad witches. It made me sad and angry, and it threatened to make me forget the good things about the roof.

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So I took this moment.

I have never liked that memory, of me on my old school roof, crying. So I remembered it again. I took this moment. This one, right here. I scrunched up my eyes and tasted the air, reached out a hand, to see if it would really rain—and of course that’s when it did.

One moment, one change.

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Joyful anticipation?

What if, instead of scrunching my eyes up and meeting the rain with anger, I remembered it like this: I smelled ozone. The sky darkened. Ooh, a roof rain storm! I stretched out my hand to feel the first drops. And I looked up into that endless sea of clouds with anticipation and not resentment.

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A Solid Plan

And then, with that one moment changed, Rainy Roof Day Me looks at Today Me and an understanding passes between us. We have changed the beginning, the introduction, and now the rest of the story will write itself, and we will have a happy ending and a dance on the roof of the Skredder arts and humanities building.

And then, you see, it will be OK to go back to Røyken, in no small part because I will have forgiven the witches.

Notes and Credits:
Rainy Roof Dress: Senzfine, Oona Dress (Get it at We Love Role-play!)
Rainy Roof Shoes: Viki, Tremane Shoes (Get them at Midsummer Enchantment, opening on 10 July!)
Rainy Roof Skin: DeeTaleZ, Jane (Celtic) (This is a new release at the DeeTaleZ Main Store, and I love it)
Rainy Roof Umbrella: {anc}, My Umbrella Light (rare) (Get it at the {anc} main store; it’s a gacha!)
Rainy Roof Bindi: Rainbow Sundae, Druid’s Sigil (not my personal druid sigil, but I like it anyway) (Get it at We Love Role-play!)
Rainy Roof Eyes: Storybook, Heimdall Eyes
Rainy Roof Hair: Magika, Victoria
Rainy Roof stockings: Izzie’s, Sheet Tights, Basics
Rainy Roof Eyelashes: Shiny Stuffs, Lelutka Lashful Lashes
Head: Lelutka, Evolution Lake
Body: Maitreya

Environment:
Location: The Box, my weird little studio above Awenia Faerie
Scene: Minimal, London Rooftop Scene (Get it at Uber!)
Rain: Dysfunctionality, Simplest Rain

From The Author: Because in Gwyneth’s story people like significant ex Richard can read her blog, I won’t be referring to the Event in which the veil between the ‘natural’ and ‘supernatural’ worlds was blown to pieces, thus creating a new reality in which people have ‘always known’ about the other parallel worlds that exist alongside theirs. She will couch it in vague language, but as a world walker, she is necessarily aware that something has changed, and since it started with her house on White Owl Island being blown up, she feels personally affronted by it, so it comes up a lot. On public social media, everyone is an unreliable narrator, and Gwyneth is no different.

The Door Into Autumn

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It’s not what you’d think.

It’s not what you’d think. You’d think, if someone told you there was a door to autumn, that beyond this door there would be sweet smelling coffee drinks. And maple leaves. But the truth is, the journey to autumn, although it is always the same, is always changing. That was paradoxical. I am allowed to be paradoxical.

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I came through this door only moments ago.

I came through this door only moments ago. Before I entered, I was wearing a much less colourful dress. And while that might not seem significant to you, it’s not like dresses just naturally come in eight colours that can be changed with the touch of a button. No; for me, it takes a little energy and a little glamour: Faerie Queens are not, despite the hype, all-powerful.

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It’s a balancing act, like everything else.

It’s a balancing act, like everything else, I think. Autumn is, I mean. It amuses me to think there’s some way-above-my-pay-grade Seasonal Authority, and somewhere in their office there’s a Forecasting Bureau. And they decide whether it’s going to be (for most people; obviously individual experiences vary) a joyful, or sad, or weird Autumn.

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I’ll put my tokens in ‘joyful’ every time.

Now, I’ll put my tokens in ‘joyful’ every time, because I am that kind of a self-centred, sappy, lazy creature whose understanding of the world begins and ends with my own self-interest. There: that was both introspective and factual!

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But my darlings, I have seen the future….

But, my darlings: I have seen the future.

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And it is weird.

And it? Is weird.

Style Card:
Gown:
Senzafine, Althea, a gorgeous tunic-style gown available at We Love Roleplay until 30 September. Comes in 8 colours. If you get the palette pack, you get a HUD that will change their colours with a button. NO LIE! 😀
Skin: Ritual, Elspeth, Ritual’s newest in-store release. This is in T1, all freckled up, because nobody does freckles better than Ritual. This skin is available in a big selection of shades at the Ritual Main Store.

Body: Maitreya
Head: Genus Project, Baby Face
Hair: Kokolores, Runa. An asymmetrical bob with great textures, available at The Liaison Collaborative until 26 September.
Makeup: Alaskametro, Impressionist. I don’t usually use “special” SL makeup unless it’s at least as good or as interesting as the makeup The Author does in Real Life, and the example here is just one of several beautiful makeup looks in the palette. You can pick it up at Uber until the 22nd of September.
Hand Jewelry: Meva, Celtic Hand Jewelry. Again, I don’t always focus on jewellery and rings and stuff, but this piece, available at  We Love Roleplay until 30 September, was just exceptional, and I suspect Gwyneth will be wearing it a lot this autumn.
Wings: Egosumaii, Fae Wings. Obviously, I have dozens of wings, and these just matched colour and style perfectly for this post. I mean, a Fae Queen has to have lots of wings, right? It’s purely for ceremonial reasons, I assure you. Anyway, you can get these at the Egosumaii Main Store.

Environment:
Photo Box: KraftWork, The Book of Dreams. I’ve used this background before, and you know, it just never gets old. You can pick it up at the KraftWork Main Store, and while you’re there, you should become part of their VIP group, because it’s an awesome place to be.
Shrooms: Half-Deer, Dreamscape Mushrooms. I mean, who doesn’t love Half-Deer? These and other lovely things are available at the Half-Deer Main Store.
Ground Cover: Balderdash, Hearts Lament. Balderdash stuff is always beautiful, and the genius who creates it, Saiyge Lotus, is pretty amazing herself. Pick this and other beautiful things up at the Balderdash Main Store.
Rain, though I’m not sure you can see it, is The Simplest Rain Set, from Dysfunctionality, available at the Dysfunctionality Main Store.