What If….

Gwyneth:

Gwyneth:

My children have emerged. That sounds more accurate than saying they are born, since I did not give birth to them. I merely gave life. Merely.

The night was such a blessing. Eilian and Drysi arrived talking up a storm to one another, but Bronwen was quiet and new as dew. I won’t go in to more now, because I want to believe my children are possibilities and not the shadow that pass over them from the past. I won’t.

Three Parents

Three Parents

Janus couldn’t stay away. I hope he will decide not to stay away on a regular basis. I miss him so.

After what probably seemed like a short meet and greet, Bronwen grew tired and the others were pretending not to be, so I whisked us all, the family (Nathaniel, me, Wren, Eilian, Drysi, and Bronwen) off to the tree house, where Bran made hot chocolate for everyone and we got the children settled into their bedrooms.

Poor Nathaniel was so tired out he just crashed.

Janus left through the tree roads, but I hope, I know, he will be back.

In a few days, mine and Nathaniel’s handfasting will take place.

Bran brought me a second mug of hot chocolate, and I just, I don’t know. I started thinking about my life.

“No one is ever allowed to know what might have been,” said Aslan. But it doesn’t stop me speculating about it.

What if I'd grown into one of those sassy Croyden party girls?

What if I’d grown into one of those sassy Croydon party girls?

What if I’d grown in to one of those sassy Croydon party girls? The sort of girl who doesn’t think she’s dressed without a pair of 4-inch heels and shows as much skin as possible, particularly when it’s 0°C outside.

What would she have thought about my house? “Great staircase, but you really ought to get some colour in here. You should redo this kitchen in avocado, mate.”

That.. doesn’t bear thinking about.

But assuming my life followed the same path, the path where the four of us were in that accident and only I woke up on the shores of the river…

What if I’d not grown into the person I’ve become now?

Would I have become a fae servant in my own kitchen? Serving some other Fae Queen?

Would I have become a fae servant in my own kitchen? Serving some other Fae Queen?

Would I have become a fae servant in my own kitchen? Serving some other Fae Queen?I imagine my house-proudness, how I’d turn my magic, what little there might be of it, to the growing of herbs in the counter garden, the height of the fire.

The sort of house-manager who has one perfectly serviceable dress in a variety of colours, all made by her own hand.

The sort of house-manager who has one perfectly serviceable dress in a variety of colours, all made by her own hand.

The sort of house-manager who has one perfectly serviceable dress in a variety of colours, all made by her own hand.

The kind of woman who has one unbelievably beautiful necklace, given to her by a lover who left her, a thing she can’t bear to put away, ever.

A woman who remembers her old life a lot more clearly than I do now. A woman who reads in her spare time and might be instructing the children in literature, since none of them will ever be interested in cooking.

But what if the whole thing had never happened?

And into my head comes a picture of me, laughing because I'm at a great LARP, probably with Richard, in a big house.

And into my head comes a picture of me, laughing because I’m at a great LARP, probably with Richard, in a big house.

And into my head comes a picture of me, laughing because I’m at a great LARP, probably with Richard, in a big house. Fen is probably taking this photograph, maybe with my iPhone. I can tell because I’m laughing. Fen, Fenella, always knew how to make me laugh. And I don’t have to think about the last time I saw her, my best friend, so much blood.

I’m imagining this photo the way I used to look. So short. With my Welsh granny’s face and my professor dad’s hair, and my professor mum’s broad shoulders, and my euphemistically “child bearing” hips.

In this picture I’m happy because we are in a big, beautiful house, and oh what weird things there are on the mantelpiece, and here we are in this house, and we pretend to live here, what fun!

The next picture changes.

I am longing, all the time we're here for this LARP, longing and longing, for it all to be true.

I am longing, all the time we’re here for this LARP, longing and longing, for it all to be true.

I am longing, all the time we’re here for this LARP, longing and longing, for it all to be true. Only I know it can’t be, but what if it is? That’s how I walked through the world, before. Knowing, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was no magic. And yet not believing it.

I wonder if my children will grow up and wish for a world in which they are not magical. I wonder if that will happen.

Style Cards:

Three Parents:
Janus’ Clothes & Ears: Gauze
Nathaniel’s Clothes: Junbug
Nathaniel’s HairWasabi Pills
Gwyneth:
Body: SLink
Skin: Pink Fuel
Hair: EMO-Tions, Cersei (available at The Instruments)
Dress: Jumo: Mother Of Dragons, Gold (Available at The Instruments)
Wings: Falln, Rose Vine Wings (Orange)
Crown: Lode: Head accessory, Vesna, yellow (Rare)
Halo Headpiece: Zyn
Arm Vines: RFyre
Ears: Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Lipstick: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, Greedy Oranges (Available at the 7 Deadly s{K}ins Main Store!)
Face Makeup: Madrid Solo, The Vow
Neck Corset: Silvery K

What If…
Body: SLink
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, FREYA, Cotton Candy (Available at Alice In Sexyland!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch!), Inu
Ears: Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Dress and Shoes: Jinx, Gweneth, Royal Purple (Available at Fair Play!)
Necklace: Otherskin, Salvation (Available at Fair Play!)

Would I… and The Sort Of…
Body: Maitreya
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, FREYA, Cotton Candy (Available at Alice In Sexyland!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch!), Motive Braid, Bangers Bang 3
Ears: Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Dress: Mistique, Aurora, Red (1); and Green (2) (Available at Fair Play!)
Shoes: Aisling, Tess Orty
Necklace: Otherskin, Salvation (Available at Fair Play!)

And Into My Head… and I Am Longing…
Body: Maitreya
Skin: 7 Deadly s{K}ins, FREYA, Cotton Candy (Available at Alice In Sexyland!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch!), Bangers (with Bang 3)
Ears: Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Dress: BMe, Fishwife Dress (Available at Fair Play!)
Shoes: Aisling, Tess Orty
Necklace: Otherskin, Salvation (Available at Fair Play!)

Location:
Gwyneth’s Treehouse in The Great Seelie Forest

Notable Props:
Treehouse: LAQ
Kitchen Decor: DDD
Mewnicorn: Quirk & Co.
Andolyls Rapunzel Tower: DRD
Wall Planeterium: Nomad

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never leave home without it!

skinlogodiapFair Play Logo

Have I stayed too long at the Faire?

Gwyneth:

Gwyneth:

Have I stayed too long at the Faire? What a ridiculous question. The answer, of course, is no! But the Faire has ended officially, and the merchants are beginning to pack up their wares, those who can’t wait to go home, that is.

I was a vision for the Masqued Ball.

I was a vision for the Masqued Ball.

I was a vision for the Masqued Ball, if I do say so myself! But I felt myself on the fringes, as if something were tugging at me. When I turned to see what it was, it was gone.

But I feel it. Something in the air. Something of summer. My King. My King. I know it was him.  I feel the call to go home to Faerie now. But a few more stories, before I leave. just a few more.

One night, I found myself in Ichi-go Ichi-I.

One night, I found myself in Ichi-go Ichi-I.

One night, I found myself in Ichi-go Ichi-i, unsure of how I’d ended up there. A nice faerie offered me some tea. I felt made of gossamer, clouded pink with spring butterflies. I danced all night. This glorious dress is made by AZUL, the same dressmaker who designed the gown I wore for the masqued ball, above. Both so completely different from one another. What talent! I am wearing a set of jewellery from The Plastik, who never fail to amaze me with beautiful things. This one included a pendant that didn’t come with a chain, so I hooked it in to the strap the dress and hoped! As often is the case: my hope was rewarded— it looked great there!

Then, I got to thinking about summer, the triumph of the sun.

I saw my future as the Queen of Summer.

I saw my future as the Queen of Summer.

I saw my future as the Queen of Summer, in a dress from The White Armory and matching adornments from Muse. 

Before I left, I wanted to revisit one of my favourite places at the Faire.

Before I left, I wanted to revisit one of my favourite places at the Faire.

Before I left, I wanted to revisit one of my favourite places at the Faire.

This is the Writers' Circle in Sylvan of Spells.

This is the Writers’ Circle in Sylvan of Spells.

This is the Writers’ Circle in Sylvan of Spells. Those of you who know me will be unsurprised that it’s among my favourite places: my mortal background was in literature and writing, and before the… well, I used to call it an “unfortunate incident”, but I’m not so sure that’s the case now… before the event that whisked me out of my mortal life in and into Jasper Cove, I was a lecturer, a professor I guess some would call it, a writer, a teacher of literature and writing, and an avid fantasist.

Now that my life is fantasy, I don't know whether the word 'fantasist' applies....

Now that my life is fantasy, I don’t know whether the word ‘fantasist’ applies….

Now that my life is fantasy, I don’t know whether the word ‘fantasist’ applies…. unless it’s when I try to explain to Nathaniel about the Internet and his head explodes. Again.

I suppose that’s a a habit of mine, as it is the same with many people: to go back and revisit one’s favourite place before leaving someplace special.

I wonder, I wonder. I wonder if by some magic, some generosity of the goddess, I could create a space like this? In Faerie or elsewhere; it wouldn’t matter to me. I wonder.

And on a more important note: yet another perq of being a Faerie Queen: you don’t have to pack! And it’s not like other fae just do it for you: it’s that you really don’t have to pack. I fucking love magic.

Style Cards:

Gwyneth preparing for the Masqued Ball:
Mask: 
Illusions: Unseelie Headpiece (Available at the Fantasy Faire!)
Skin: 
Curio: Simone in Moondrop
Hair: 
Analog Dog (natch!): Sola (Available at the Fantasy Faire!)
Ears: 
Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Wings: 
Remarkable Oblivion: Eternity Wings in Licentious
Jewellery: 
Violator: Hedera
Dress: 
AZUL: Naarnisse
Shoes: 
GizzA: L’amour Heels

One Night, I Found Myself in Ichi-go Ichi-e:
Dress: AZUL: Pepeke (Available at Fantasy Faire!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch!) Contriuneau (Available at Fantasy Faire!)
Jewellery: The Plastic: Illariel circlet, pendant, and ring (Available at Fantasy Faire!)
Skin: Curio: Simone in Moondrop
Shoes: Tumble Twig & Skjern Designs: Pearls of Muse (pink)

All other photos:
Dress: The White Armory: Maiden of Tuatha in Royal
Jewellery (crown, earrings, choker, dress ornament, veil): MUSE, Maiden of Tuatha Accessories in Royal
Skin: Curio: Kai in Moondrop
Ears: Lumae: Leevi Long Ears
Hair: Analog Dog (natch!): Megan
Anklets: Honesty Starsider: Empress Rose

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. Go look at the web page. Yes, I know they’re expensive. If you want to take amazing photos in SL, they’re worth every Linden.

Fascinating encounters and sleepwalking lionesses

I was looking for Aoibheann, and there he was, on the bridge.

I was looking for Aoibheann, and there he was, on the bridge.

One night not too long ago, when I was still hiding in Val’s den, Aoibheann and I ran into a stranger who went by the name of Janus. Now, it was a little freaky to find him lurking round the den, but he seemed perfectly at home, and it wasn’t a bad conversation. I feel safe at Val’s, anyway.

But last night, there he was on the bridge, and as I was calling for Aoibheann round the tree (she wasn’t around), he came and sat down to talk to me. Well, how could anybody refuse to talk to him? He’s quite interesting. We had a philosophical discussion about the nature of good and evil or something, and then I became completely fascinated by his ears.

It's not a creepy fascination, I swear.

It’s not a creepy fascination, I swear.

It’s not a creepy fascination, I swear. Anyone, looking at this guy’s ears, would be fascinated. Because there are little glowing orbs on his ears, and they’re not earrings, that change colour depending on what he’s touching or what mood he’s in, something like that. I don’t know. So it’s bad enough that he’s really quite attractive in sort of a butch, earthy way that the beautiful Nathaniel is not — his ears change colour in their glowy bits, and that’s just fascinating.

We talked for a while.

We talked for a while.

We talked for a while before I finally asked him about his ears and whether they just changed colour on their own accord, or what. He must hear that question a lot, because he laughed at me. He said if he touched my hair, maybe they’d change to white, and maybe they wouldn’t.

So I did what any girl would have done: I leaned forward so he could touch my hair. He didn’t touch me at all, just my hair. But when he got a lock of hair around his finger, the orbs flashed pure white for a second before going dark again. That was really cool, and I was just about to tell him that, when Renata came crashing through the glade and into the river. I stood up, of course, and called for her.

Renata was in her Sidhe form, not her lioness form.

Renata was in Sidhe form, not lioness form.

I wouldn’t have been worried if she were running around like that, in the middle of the night, through running water, as a lioness: she does that all the time, and that’s what the lioness form is for, for her, if I understand Blaise correctly. It allows her to be free sometimes, do the crazy things she likes to do, without hurting herself.

But Renata was in Sidhe form, not lioness form, which struck me as odd. When she ran back through the river and crashed out in front of Ardan, snoring like a chainsaw, I realised she was sleepwalking and had somehow got out of the sithen without an escort, in Sidhe form. I didn’t tell any of this to Janus, of course; I just tried to get her attention. He said we’d talk later and that he’d enjoyed our conversation (what a nice guy!), but that taking care of my family obviously came first. I was grateful, because while I try not to feel pity for Renata, it’s hard to just leave somebody soaked to the skin sleeping beside a possibly hostile marron tree.

Once I started directing her, she was easy to lead.

Once I directed her, she was easy to lead.

Once I started directing her, she was easy to lead, and we were back in the sithen before too long. We got her into some dry clothes and I walked her to the Prince’s suite where she could curl up in the extra warding of his room. I wonder if she’ll remember a thing about it next time we talk! Something fun to tease her about, I guess, though I don’t know how far I can really tease Renata. That’s the thing with her: I find her so fun and delightful most of the time, but I know she’s capable of harsh judgmentalism and according to Blaise, chaos and destruction. I have to tread carefully. Still, Lady Siansa’s words about my taking some kind of responsibility for her keep ringing in my ears. Maybe I’ll just do that without really being asked. Maybe I can help her.