Get involved with a mortal, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. You’ll get to see all sorts of amazing things, they said.
Is this amazing, or what? I’m gonna go with, or what.
I swear, you have a beautiful whirlwind courtship following your debut at Queen Charlotte’s, a classy wedding in Tuscany (cost a quarter of a million pounds; that’s classy, right?), and a honeymoon in the Maldives, and then he tells you it’s time to get back to “real life”. Real Life?
Real Life is apparently when you move into a tiny flat in Nu Jyorck and he has to spend the whole weekend setting up a new office for his dad’s business while you…
Unpack? You have got to be kidding me.
And he’s all, ‘Honey, you’ll love the place; it’s so retro! Fittings and fixtures from the early 20th century tween war peace’!
It’s turquoise. I talked one of the moving guys into helping me unpack one box, but then he goes on about labour laws and since I’m Fae why don’t I just do it all with my magic, and then laughs at me because he think I’m some kind of skank who married a mortal for money.
Which I did not.
I married a mortal for sport; that’s a completely different thing.
It’d be enough to make a regular girl sad. Luckily, for me at least, I am not a regular girl.
Because I’m such a dutiful little wifey, I put three bottles of champagne in the (delightfully retro) fridge to chill so we could have a lovely celebration when he came home at the end of his oh-so-long day to a completely unpacked, tidy little domicile. Do-fucking-mes-tic Bliss.
Yeah, fuck that noise. You know, now that I think about it, this whole thing might have been a big mistake.
This is really good champagne, though. At least he got that right.
Ha-haha! How do you like me now, Mortal Boy?
You know what? There’s hundreds of fae princes who’d have me! I didn’t need this adventure! I didn’t need this little lark! And I don’t need you!
You and your mayfly lifespan. You and your ‘Oh, let’s play house in a tiny flat even when we could afford a condo on Innsjøen. Oh, won’t it be fun if I go in and set things up on my end and then you set things up at home and cook me a nice dinner’?
You know what I think?
I think you’re in for a big surprise when you get home. I’ll leave that last bottle of champagne: you’re going to need it.
Notes & Credits:
The Retro Bombshell Dress: 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Delirium. Polka dot edition, updated for Summer 2020 with new textures & a Legacy rigging (get it at the 1313 Mockingbird Lane Main Store!)
The Sassy Retro Hair: Magika, Sierra
The Perfect Shoes: Reign, Kitty Heels
The Appropriate Pearls: EarthStones, Vintage Pearl (bracelet, necklace, earrings)
The Pointy Pointy Ears: Swallow, Elf Ears, High Definition
The Blue Eyes: Avi-Glam, Siren Eyes Gacha, 04 (at The Epiphany)
The Perfect Pink Lipstick: Nonnative’s Studio, Sora Lips
The Perfect Pink Nail Polish: Cazimi, Too Cute
The Expressive Eyebrows: Simple Bloom, ShieldsHunter
The Stunningly Freckled Skin: DeeTaleZ, Jane in Nordic
The Extra Freckles: VYC Femme, The Natural Freckles
The Body & Head: Maitreya, Lelutka Evolution Lake
The Shimmery, Glimmery Wings: Lovely Alien, Shimmer Fairy Wings
Environment: Shot in Awenia Faerie, The Box Studio
Photo Environment: Paparazzi, Urban View
Kitchen Fixtures: Trompe Loeil, Retro Kitchen
Dish Cabinet & Dinette: Eclectica, Curiosities, Formica & Chrome Kitchen Dresser, Kitchen Table, Turquoise
Canisters, Pots & Pans, Coffee Pot, Coffee Cup, Eclectica, Curiosities, anodised aluminium and green
Moving Boxes: Red Columbia, New Home Moving Boxes
Champagne Glasses: T-3D Creations, Gold Line Glass
“Make Tea Not War” graphic downloaded from Flickr: Personal Posters 4U (no information on how to purchase and they didn’t respond to queries)