Three Twisted Knots

From Lira:

I really liked that place with the Disembodied Voice. I hope I can go back there sometime. We stayed there for weeks, it felt like, and we had lovely food all the time, and there was always a book to read, and Uggla said the mole population was plentiful (he prefers moles to rats, apparently) for hunting.

Now, sometimes, because I seem to be whizzing about among Realms like a whizzy thing, it’s hard for me to tell whether I’m asleep or awake. Uggla has been pretty good at pinching me to help me make sure I’m awake, even though I don’t know if that even works. Apparently, humans believe you cannot feel pain in dreams, so they tell someone to pinch them if they’re not sure they’re dreaming? Or something like that.

I haven’t done enough research on owls to know this. Maybe Uggla didn’t appear in this weird little world of water and umbrellas because owls don’t like water. I hope it’s not because he decided he didn’t want to spend time with a Chimerical Librarian who rode the teacup ride eighteen times.

At least here there was a lamppost holding a strategically placed umbrella over me so I didn’t get completely soaked.

Then, I don’t know what came over me. I just suddenly had this feeling, like if Uggla wasn’t with me, I didn’t want to be alive. I do not know what to do with thoughts like this. It was not part of my training. I am tired of being alone, all the time. Uggla helps with that, so much. Uggla, you big stupid owl, I promise I will never call you dim or “Ugly” again, if you’ll just come back to me. I will find special owl treats for you. I will find you the best, fattest moles.

The rain-streaked mirror filtered my image imperfectly in the clouded light. My eyes felt swollen, like I’d got something in one of them. And maybe a little headache was coming on. I leaned into the mirror, really close. My eyes were all red. I wasn’t wearing any makeup, so it couldn’t be that irritating them.

Suddenly, I felt weakness in my legs and had to sit down again. I went down the physical checklist in my head. I had breakfast. I was not dehydrated. My cardiovascular health was good; I’d taken a long walk with Uggla just last night. Did I have signal? Amazingly, I did.

I looked up my symptoms. I know folk say you should never do that, but it’s not like I have a history of motherly advice and old wives’ tales to go by: I have to get these answers where I can. Lyme disease? Brain tumour? Lots of weird diseases I’ve never heard of. Am I about to die? I added “fear” on to my symptom list, but I didn’t know what good it would do. And it was no help; no help, at all.

Even though Uggla would be no help in this situation—he would just suggest a hunting trip and fresh meat or something—I wished he was here, fiercely.

He didn’t come.

I don’t know how long I sat on that bench. I realised I was crying at some point, and my nose got all stuffy. I only cried once before, when I got a paper cut for the first time. Weirdly, about the time I realised I was crying, a packet of tissues appeared on the bench beside me. That was handy. So maybe I hadn’t strayed too far from the beautiful room with the Disembodied Voice, after all.

I tried deep breathing exercises, which helped out a lot. And then the rain stopped, which helped a little more.

Uggla likes me. He wouldn’t just leave me like that. Probably we just got separated in a little portal squish or something. Maybe the answer is to try and go back to the last place we were together—the beautiful room. With the bathtub. Ooh, a long bath sounded wonderful just then, I thought. So that’s what I’ll do, I decided. I’ll pull together all my thinking and concentrate on that one thing, that one place, and Uggla’s presence, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll work.

I turned toward the mirror, and I got that dizzy sensation I get sometimes before a portal jump. I hoped this would work.

Notes & Credits:

Items from the lovely creators who sponsor me and this blog:

• Skin: Lira’s beautiful, smooth skin, with dimples! (there’s a no-dimples version as well), is of course from EnLight. It’s called KEA, and it’s exclusive to the Kawaii Secrets event until 24 December, after which it will return to the EnLight Main Store. Don’t forget that if you’re part of the EnLight VIP Group, wear your group tag for 33% off this skin during the event! (Some of you might have noticed that I’ve lightened Lira’s skin: this was done in conjunction with a recent head change from Prim to Raven; I wanted a more innocent look for her, since she’s basically a babe in the woods. So she is now in EnLight T1 Pastel, and I think it’s a good change for her. Pastel is a lovely pink ivory shade.)
• Hair: Analog Dog (natch!), Snowfall. Snowfall is still up as part of Analog Dog’s Wanderlust Weekend Special, so make tracks to the Analog Dog Main Store to grab the mix pack for L$50 whilst you can!
• Horns: Rivendale, Dainty Horns.

Other Fancy Stuff:

• Lira’s Glasses: DeepStatic, Anneka
• Dress: Neve, Chunk, from the Neutral palette
• Tights: Evora, 40 denier semi-opaque tights, brown
• Shoes: Toksik, Rejoice Shoes (these are at the recently opened Equal10)
• Nails: Eventyra, Icebreaker
• Ring: Kunglers, Phoebe Ring
• Bindi: SFU (Six Feet Under), Clavicula Nox Bindi
• Lira is styled on a Legacy Perky body, with a Lelutka EvoX Raven mesh head. Her ears are Kefira Ears from Petrichor. Her eyes are usually T’ville Starry Eyes, Biochrome, with Birth’s Glimmer Eyes making them sparkle.

Environment:

• Photo Backdrop: Synnergy Tavis, A Touch of Whimsy
• Mirror: imegica, Mirat Reflex Mirror (PBR)
• Client & Feature Nerd Alert: These photos were shot on the Alchemy Beta Viewer, which runs much more efficiently on a Mac than Firestorm. I get better frame rates, and I can walk around in ultra with no rubber banding. So… unless Firestorm vastly improves its Mac port, I am likely to switch altogether. Alchemy even provides a Phototools-like photo interface that makes it easier to take photos, and I can save at higher resolutions than Firestorm. The Official Viewer, where I first tried PBR, also provides better performance than Firestorm, so I think the problem lies with Firestorm, unfortunately. Alas, The Official Viewer offers no great photography interface, so Alchemy beats it, as well. Like most SL people, I’ve been a Firestorm user for years because The Official Viewer is just… well, it’s awful, clunky, difficult to use, etc. So I hadn’t played with another viewer in a long time, and it was a surprise to see how much better my performance (on a 1-year-old MacBook Pro with an M1 Max and 32GB of universal system memory) in both the other viewers I tried to get a taste of PBR.