Three Twisted Knots

Slowly, slowly, walk the path,
And you might never stumble or fall.
Slowly, slowly, walk the path,
And you might never fall in love at all.

Golden, golden, is her hair,
Like the morning sun over fields of corn.
Golden, golden, flows her love,
So sweet and clear and warm.

Lonely, lonely, is the heart
That ne’er another can call its own.
Lonely, lonely, lies the part
That has to live all alone.

Wildly, wildly, beats the heart
With a rush of love like a mountain stream.
Wildly, wildly, play your part
As free as a wild bird’s dream

—Andy M Stewart, “Golden, Golden”

Where-ever did I get a reputation as a risk-taker? It’s only circumstance that’s brought me to where I am, circumstance, dumb luck, and a sense of inertia. Things like preparing for tonight’s salon  always make me so nervous.

But I get up anyway. There’s nothing to be done: it’s planned, the people are going to come. I can be ready for them, or I can go to the door like this. Or, I suppose, I could run away, but that takes almost as much planning as a salon.

I waste time, talking to myself. If the maid comes in, I’ll pretend I’ve gone round the bend and am talking to the chair. Surely nothing I do would surprise anybody by now. What to wear. Makeup, hair. Am I going to invite people to play some music. Whom do I wish I hadn’t invited. Whom do I wish I had invited. It’s a continual cycle.

And if I do thing one, then reaction A happens. Thing two, reaction B. Say this thing to Lucien, he reacts this way. Say the same thing to Paulo, he reacts that way. And why don’t I just leave, never come back, live in the wild like a forest child.

We all know the answer to that question. The answer is simple: I’m unfit for anything else. So I might as well just turn the fuck around, face the mirror, and get myself together. It isn’t as if I’ve got anything better—or else, really—to do. So in a minute I’ll reach my hand back to ring for the maid, tell her I’m not interested in anything fancy dress-wise… but the shoes need to be killer.

———

As usual, I’m surprised by how good it feels to be ready, to have the room ready, to pluck a string of the harpsichord and build vocalises around it. But then of course I look ahead to the crowd, the heat, the tedious dancing, and I find that, as always, the only thing to look forward to is the evening’s end.

I do think the maid did a good job with the shoes, though. So like golden butterflies moulded round my ankles. It’s hard to get out to the best shops if one is in exile, but she always manages to find the perfect things.

It’s enough to give a girl pause.

What exactly am I doing in exile?

How did I get here?

I don’t remember. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember the last time I left the manor.

Reason sets in eventually as I surveys the grand salon, so soon to be filled with visitors. If one is fortunate enough to live in such a splendid place, why would one ever want to leave? I call for a bottle of wine, since I can at least enjoy it without being drunk. There are those I speak to who say this is no blessing.

———

At dusk the next day, I do it. I flee the manor.

There is little to flee to. We are, it seems, a manor in the middle of a forested island, surrounded by rocky cliffs. I make my way to the edge of one of them to find a terrace, far above the…but there is no water. We are adrift in a sea of air. There is nothing.

What is this place?

Where do all the guests come from?

I turn away from the sunset. The questions stack up. The questions about where we are. Where we came from. What kind of exile this is. Who I am exactly.

And one question that may haunt me for a long time to come:

Where did Marie find those spectacular shoes?

Style Cards:

All Photos:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Destiny
Ears: Logo, Expressive Elf Ears (with appliers from Lumae)
Eyes: Mesange, Kelpie Eyes (Omega appliers)
Skin: Lumae, Sabine, T4 Fawn / Starlight (A preview, available as part of the Marketplace Buy Now event)

Dressing Table Shots:
Hair: Exile, Moonlight Stroll
Dress: La Perla, Morgaine Nightdress (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Dressing Table: Death Row Designs, Golden Retreat Vanity (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Wall Art: Death Row Designs, Golden Retreat Wall Art, Protection, Fertility, Holding On, Reaching (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Armchair and pouf: Death Row Designs, Soft Pink Moods Chair and poof

Salon Shots:
Hair: Exile, Reveling in You
Dress: The Annex, Clara Dress, Gold
Crown: Cae, Woodlands Crown
Necklace: PaperMoon, Necklace of Da’at (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Eyeshadow: Nanika, Gold Eyeshadow (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Lipstick: Zibska, Metalli (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Body Glitter: Aisling, Body Glitters (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Bracelets: MaGmA, Naiad Bracelet, Gold (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Shoes: Aisha, Butterfly Sandals, Gold (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Harpsichord, Harp, Cello, Death Row Designs, Victorian Music Room
Armchair and pouf: Death Row Designs, Soft Pink Moods Chair and poof
House: Compulsion, Manor House
Topiary: Trompe Loeil, Odette Topiaries

Terrace Shots:
Hair: Exile, Memory Bliss
Dress and Headpiece: Silvan Moon Designs, All That Glitters Gown, Blue (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Eyebrows: PICHI, Gold Eyebrows (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Gold Tears: Aisling, Gold Tears, Light (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Lipstick: Zibska, Metalli (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Body Glitter: Aisling, Body Glitters (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Bracelets: MaGmA, Naiad Bracelet, Gold (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Shoes: Aisha, Butterfly Sandals, Gold (Available at The Secret Affair!)
Terrace: Terra d’Ombra*SweetHome, Terrace Ravello (Available at the Spoonful Of Sugar Event!) The Spoonful of Sugar event is a charity event to benefit Doctors Without Borders, an amazing charity that sends doctors all over the world to change and improve people’s lives.

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never suggest that Gwyneth cares more about shoes than about who or where she is without it!