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Ban Síde

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Gwyneth:

Oh, do not fear the winter night
The broken branches dull with snow
And do not fear the death of light
Or any fright that dreams bestow

And neither fear the fox’s cry
Nor fear a tapping at your door
Or worry over some old lie
That doesn’t matter any more

But when the thread is wearing thin
And time fragments to feathery
Then, as you fear the fear within
You may be frightened now of me

 

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Cold, cold, always cold.

Cold, cold, always cold. It is the first feeling when I rise and the last before I fall. And now another Realm, another town, another street to walk down. Another song, another rhyme, another soul run out of time.

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I am called.

I am called. I am cold. I am hungry. Is this the house? No; not this one. Carry on; carry on.

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Closer now.

Closer now. I smell it clearly. From this window, or the next. No, not this one. Next year, maybe. Carry on; carry on.

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Oh, here.

Oh, here. Now here. This door; this light. Now I breathe and start the keening, carry on into the night. And sing until the widow’s weeping on the floor her hands as cold as the hands she still is holding. Always cold; always cold. Wail from sundown, wail to midnight, wail all night and let them cry. Now the gasping, now the weeping; tears are always the reply. Only when the widow’s broken, only when the bond is cut, then the others of us sweep the soul away, elf-struck.

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Finally.

Finally, when songs are over, I can walk away. Forget syllabic, rhyming sing-song, I say to myself, but echoes always follow me. The wailing. The keening. The grief of a hundred loves, all weighing on whatever thing—I don’t even remember now—whatever thing I did to deserve this burden.

And then I see a statue of a Fae harper.

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It’s easy: I rise with the clouds until I’m there.

It’s easy: I rise with the clouds until I’m there, perched on her knee, hand to her hand, and something stirs inside the bronze casting, something that is still alive, trapped for a century or more.

—Lady, who bound you?

—Bound me? This is where I live.

—But once you had a body.

—Of course. That was long ago.

—But don’t you long to escape?

And as if an echo comes her reply:

—But don’t you long to escape?

—Escape? I cannot escape.

—But once you had another calling.

—Of course. That was long ago.

Her laughter is like harp strings, tings of brass.

—I’ll not move until they melt me down and sell me. But you could go, give it up, let the others carry the keening.

—They’d find me.

—Not if you know how to run.

And now I look into the green-cast eyes and think, is there hope? Might there be hope?

—I know how to run.

She laughs again.

—But where? Do you know where to run?

—I confess I do not.

—But I do.

—Tell me.

—So simple it is, you’ll think you thought of it yourself, and you’ll think no more of me. I need a promise.

—Anything.

—Promise you’ll remember me.

—If your words save me, I could never forget you.

—Then promise, and be bound.

—I promise. I will never forget you.

—Now run, run as fast and as far as you can, and think of oceans and deep water, and when you think you cannot run any more, you must fly into the air and fall and ask for haven. You will meet water, and then you will be free.

—It seems too simple.

—All things are. Now run, before they call you for another keening.

I leave a kiss on the cast fingers, find the ground, and flee. I run until I think I cannot run any more, and there before me is a cliff, above an ocean, so I dive. I cry for haven.

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So I dive.

So I dive, and falling seems to take forever, and in an instant I see the beach and the rocks and the waves and the houses and the trees and in each house a sleeping soul or more, and then the water breaks my fall and I am cold and colder still again, and then it’s dark.

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Ugh!

Ugh! I woke up from a dream of drowning. I was thinking how much I hate dreams about drowning, when I realised I was actually in a rather large body of water. Fuck me: I’ve never dreamed myself physically into another place before. And what was all that about being a Bean Sí? I coughed water and treaded water and turned around and found an accessible shore: the other side seemed to be a sheer cliff.

It took a while, but I did manage to swim to the beach. And I don’t know why I didn’t just lift and fly: I don’t think I remembered I could fly until I was already on the sand. I guess that’s what happens when your thoughts are addled by dreams and drowning, one after the other.

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I stepped up on to a boardwalk.

I stepped up on to a boardwalk. The day was fine, which was good, because the water was cold and the sun was a welcome friend.

And then I looked ahead.

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This was a very long boardwalk.

This was a very long boardwalk, with an inexplicable bend in the middle, as if someone thought it’d just be fun to make the journey half again as long as it would have been—or maybe there’s some rule against straight boardwalks. Is there a rule against straight boardwalks? Next time I’m in a Realm with an Internet connection, I shall have to check.

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Onward.

And so, having no idea where I was, no immediate notion of how to get back to Faerie, and no plans for the day, I continued up the hill and on to the next adventure, whatever that would be.

Style Card:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Dyana
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears
Eyes: Soul, Sidhe Eyes
Skin: Lumae, Eirtae Bare, T1 (The Eirtae Bare skin has been updated and is available at the Lumae Main Store now!)
Hair: Mina, Neah (available at Hair Fair! Hair fair is open until 31 July!)
Clothes: Silvan Moon Designs (A collaboration between The White Armory and Blue Moon Enterprises), Aquella Marina Dress in Grey (Available at the Fantasy Cream event!)
Circlet: Coquette, Fairy Crown
Leg Wraps: Empire, Forsythia (Available at We❤ RP!)
Shoes: ChicChica, Fairy Pointes for SLink Pointe Feet
Location: Private Sim (for now!)
Poses (In order):
1. “Cold, Cold, Always Cold” an lar Daydreamer Series — Fantasy
2. “I Am Called” an lar Beauty Series — Allure
3. “Closer Now” Bauhaus Movement — A Night of Madness
4. “Oh, here” Bauhaus Movement — Again
5. “Finally” Bauhaus Movement — Cherry
6. “I Rise With the Clouds Until I’m There” Bauhaus Movement — Annia 2
7. “So I Dive” Roquai Poses — Dive
8. “Ugh!” Roquai Poses — Surface
9. “I Stepped Up On To A Boardwalk” Imeka — Lucy 1
10. “This Was A Very Long Boardwalk” Imeka — Lucy 2
11. “Onward” Imeka — Lucy 2

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never suggest that my primary rp character is actually a Ban(shee) On The Run (sorry!) without it!

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2 thoughts on “Ban Síde

  1. Pingback: BAN SÍDE | wickedwylds

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