Three Twisted Knots

Don’t ask me why I decided to go camping by myself at Midsummer. I could have gone to any number of festivals, any number of pagan moots in London, but no.

I borrowed my dad’s VW  caravan, this thing he’d modified like back in the 80s, and I drove up into Epping Forest, and I got as far back into the nowhere as I possibly could.

It must have been something about sleeping overnight in a cramped caravan the night before Midsummer, but the mist that morning really caught my imagination.

There was a kind of ruined folly about 200 yards from where I’d decided to set up camp, such as it was. And Josh kept texting me, which was super annoying, particularly when I was trying to set up a tripod and use my mobile to take photos of myself so you could also see the folly. I guess that just means life in the twenty-first century, or something.

I kept playing with the zoom on the phone lens, controlling the whole thing from my Apple Watch, and Josh kept texting, and it was really pissing me off.

Despite all that, I managed to get a couple of good shots. And yet, when I got in to the folly itself, it somehow seemed wrong to take photographs there. I decided to stick to selfies, since that’s what my Facebook friends care about anyway, right?

Once the mist burned off, the day shaped up to being the perfect Midsummer. I started second guessing myself: maybe I should just drive back to London and find an open ritual. Staying in the caravan for another night wasn’t all that appealing, to be honest. But the truth is, I had this dream where this voice kept telling me that I had to do it alone this year. Just me. My own ritual, my own balefire. My own moon, my own longest day.

It felt like I spent most of the late morning just staring into the sun. I know you’re not meant to do that. I do. Eventually, I got hot and made myself a picnic lunch and went off to look for usable ritual space. I brought all the usual stuff, but then I wasn’t sure I was going to need any of it. The woods were deeper beyond the folly, so I explored there first, picked a clearing, and started bring fire rocks from the caravan. That was the only time I actually missed Josh. Then again, he texted so often while I was carting rocks from the caravan to the clearing that I just about broke up with him, but then I thought better of it because somebody has to help me get rid of the rocks. Or maybe it wouldn’t be awful if I just left them here. These are the thoughts that go through my head. Weird I am.

I was going to meditate and get myself ready for the night’s ritual. But to be honest, I took a nap. Those rocks were heavy. So, yeah. I took a nap and I woke up in time to go and build the fire. I don’t think it’s wrong to do sausages over the balefire before the Midsummer ritual. Of course, it’s my ritual and my balefire, so fuck anybody who says it’s not OK to do sausages over a balefire before the Midsummer ritual.

It was nearly ten o’clock before it was dark, because, fuck. Longest day of the year and all.

So I began invoking. I felt the fire rise higher as I called on the ancestors, the nature spirits, the gods.

Working alone was so different. There were bad things and good things about it. I mean, duh. Obviously there were bad things and good things about it. Bad: nobody to chant with, hold hands with, feel together with. Good: nobody to tell me what to do! No Wiccan telling me there’s something wrong with my cosmology. Yeah, because yours is perfect. omg.

Something happened, though. Something really happened.

I was there, visualising the fire as the sun, the great initiator, and suddenly I felt a shiver in my body, and it was like, I don’t know, almost like, I left my body.

As as if in an instant, I had a completely different life, all there, in my head. As if it was a memory that had always been there.

Somewhere around this time, I just pulled the bindings out of my hair. It didn’t feel right for it to be back, not with this other life coursing through me.

And who was I? I was as I am now, a Sidhe of fine descent, only by some freak accident I was brought up in a world where there were purported to be no Sidhe, no Elves, no Trolls, no Dragons. No magic. My parents were academics, and I became an academic, and then one day I left that world and again, through a series of highly improbable coincidences, I became a Queen in Faerie. Imagine me, a Queen. Father would have a good laugh at that. Mother too, even if her sister actually is a Queen, it’s not like she consorts with the likes of us.

It was like a physical blow, these memories. Not mine, but the Sidhe in them was me. Another me. Could have been me. Might have been me. And now she lives in a world without mobile phones and the Internet and everything even remotely technological has to be accomplished with magic. I felt kind of sorry for her.

And I wouldn’t want to be her. Probably she doesn’t know (assuming she exists at all and this isn’t some bizarre hallucination brought on by the cheek of doing sausages over the balefire before the Midsummer ritual) I got all these memories in such a flash, but just in case she did, I tried to tell her to get out of this backwater Faerie she’s living in. Because fuck me: a girl deserves an iPhone, am I right?

I awoke in a plush bed in the Remembrance Garden. There wasn’t a bed here before. And I had the strangest dream.

Story notwithstanding, this is the first of a series of posts that will be showing you some of the coolest things at Hair Fair, which is now open! Both these hairstyles are from Analog Dog, because of course I am the world’s biggest Analog Dog Fan and so of course I had to show you two of Queue’s amazing styles before I move on to anybody else. Hair Fair only comes around once a year, and a percentage of everything sold there goes to benefit Wigs For Kids. It’s the best place on the grid to come and see great new hair. Don’t forget to join the demo group before you make your big shopping trip: that way you can pre-shop and choose what you want to buy before you make the trek. Hair Fair is four complete sims of hair, and it’s on until the 31st of July. 

Style Cards:
First four photos:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Dyana
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears
Eyes: Soul, Sidhe Eyes
Skin: Lumae, Eirtae Bare, T1 (The Eirtae Bare skin has been updated and is available at the Lumae Main Store now!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch), Love (available at Hair Fair! Hair fair is NOW OPEN!)
Clothes: Wonderlost, Olivia Boho Skirt and Top (sold in loads of colours at The Secret Affair!)
Necklace: The Plastik, The Wenje Jewellery, (Available at this month’s Liaison Collaborative!)
Poses: Frolic, Route 66, Don’t Touch the Hair and Sun In My Eyes, (Coming soon to the Mieville Route 66 Celebration!)
Trees: Studio Skye, Enchanted Woods
Caravan: Contraption, The Cuddle Camper, Pink

Midsummer Night Photos:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Dyana
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears
Eyes: Soul, Sidhe Eyes
Skin: Lumae, Eirtae Bare, T1 (The Eirtae Bare skin has been updated and is available at the Lumae Main Store now!)
Makeup: Fetch, Luna Makeup (Available at at The Secret Affair!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch), Evolve (updo) and Love (loose)  (available at Hair Fair! Hair fair is NOW OPEN!)
Clothes: Poet’s Heart, Marisol Skirt and Top (sold in loads of colours at The Secret Affair!)
Necklace: ieQED, Antler Necklace, (Available at at The Secret Affair!)
Poses: Frolic, Harbinger 1 & 2 (Available at the Frolic Main Store!)
Trees: Studio Skye, Enchanted Woods
Bonfire: Heart, Forest Bonfire Medium

Faerie Photograph:
Body: Maitreya
Head: Catwa, Dyana
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears
Eyes: Soul, Sidhe Eyes
Skin: Lumae, Eirtae Bare, T1 (The Eirtae Bare skin has been updated and is available at the Lumae Main Store now!)
Hair: Analog Dog (natch), Evolve (updo) and Love (loose)  (available at Hair Fair! Hair fair is NOW OPEN!)
Clothes: Eve, Ethereal Swimsuit (available at The Secret Affair!)
Necklace: ieQED, Antler Necklace, (Available at at The Secret Affair!)
Circlet: Junbug, The Sabrina Circlet
Poses: Frolic, Seated 4 (Available at the Frolic Main Store!)
Bed: Death Row Designs, Evening Romance, White Clouds (Available at the Indie Teepee Event!)

Spiffy photos taken with the indispensible aid of my LumiPro. I never subject my primary rp character to dreams with glimpses of what might be alternate lives, or possibly just proof that she’s completely losing her marbles, without it!