Three Twisted Knots

Padishar was considerably more clean than the last time I saw him, though still sporting the überdemon look. I kind of preferred him in cloaks and gorgeous brown hair, but I’m beginning to realise that must have been glamour he puts on while working specifically for Queen Faermorn.

Quite frankly, I was worried he was going to ask me to give him some information I couldn’t possibly have. Yet. I can’t talk to him about the Seelie Sithen; I cannot. But I will gladly find out everything I can about Lord Maric and the Sluagh, and whoever else he wants me to inform about.

It seems so ridiculous now — making such a deal to get back at someone who is now dead. I still think about it. I haven’t told anybody except Aoibheann and Nathaniel. What are they going to say? I don’t know.

Nathaniel arrived eventually, which was nice. He had on some clothing Prince Blaise had found for him at the sithen. He was a smoking hot elfy vampire! (Shoot me!) Seriously, he looked great. It was kind of fun to see all the tavern patrons looking at him and wondering where he’d been hiding those arms all summer. (Around me! That’s where, Bitches!! omg)

Padishar said he had to be going, after not saying a whole hell of a very much (for which I was actually kind of grateful; see above), and Nathaniel and I settled down to discuss politics, sex, and strong drink, not necessarily in that order.

But then the room went cold, and there she was: Nemaine.

You know, she is a thoroughly unpleasant woman. God. Deity. Goddess. Whatever. She is thoroughly unpleasant. What’s weird is that, kind of like with the Unseelie King, you know she’s made of pure malice, but you just cannot look away from her. She is compelling. I guess that’s what makes her a goddess. She had a crow with her, of course. Mostly, she said, she’d come to see Nualla — Nualla who scrunched into my hair and hid like a frightened kitten. Her crow seemed to have a different idea: it went first for a lock of Nathaniel’s hair (which it got) and then for one of mine (which it did not). I don’t know how I dodged it. So then she came in close to me and I just told her to back the fuck off, because if she wanted a lock of my hair, I’d give it to her freely. Nathaniel didn’t think that was a good idea, but I just did it to get rid of her. I thought briefly about trying to glamour one, but, you know. Goddess. She might have seen through that. Padishar reappeared at some point and they went off together into the shadows, but I had pinpricks of blood on my shoulder from Nualla’s shadowy little claws. She must have been really scared.

Nathaniel and I had been talking before she arrived, talking about how vampires feed. He’d said he did his best to make sure he was always well fed when he saw me, to keep the blood lust down. I asked him what that felt like, blood lust. He was so calm as he explained it to me. He said that the willing people of the village he fed upon seemed to find it enjoyable. I thought about that, and I said maybe he could show me what that felt like sometime. Because I never was into that whole vampire thing as a teenager or a young adult, it never struck me there was anything sexy about it, until I said that. And he looked at me. Wow. I would trudge through a lot of crap to have him look at me like that again. I think it doesn’t matter what people say about it, I want to feel that, at least once. I know he loves me and not what’s in my veins, but that look in his eyes. I’d give a lot to see that again. We only talked about it a little, but I keep coming back to that conversation in my head, that look. For a guy who is so verbose, he can say a lot with a look, my Nathaniel.

The rest of that evening I’m not ready to talk about. But there’s something to be said for mint.