I don’t understand things sometimes. I have had lectures from it feels like half a dozen people about how only Seelie fae are the good guys, yet I know Nathaniel is a good guy. I know Aoibheann is a good guy. I believe Alec and Isabella were/are good guys. I’m sure this is going to come up again and again. My best friend has to be blind and deaf to enter the sithen, but She came in and caused any havoc she wanted to. I know they were all fighting together against a common enemy, up there– why then do we have to hold on to these ancestral feuds? Seelie hate Unseelie. They both mistrust Sluagh, but Sluagh have an uneasy relationship with Unseelie. Everybody’s meant to hate demons, but it looks like half the world was in love with Vedis, who died during the battle. I just don’t get it. Why pretend to be enemies if you’re not, and why throw alliances away when the convenient common enemy disappears? It doesn’t make any sense.
I had a rant on this subject to Nathaniel. I was telling him I could understand why people kept telling me not to trust demons. But then he came back with all this stuff about other demons he’d known. They give you these rules, and then suddenly, BAM! Grey areas. And you were right all along to just take people, beings, vampires, demons, fae, whatever, as they present themselves, assessing each one individually.
This whole good and evil thing confuses the shit out of me. I mean, I know humans are complex with many varying shades of grey. But when you read about magical or legendary beings, you think of them as being morally archetypal. They are rarely full of twisting character flaws that lead them farther down one path than another. They are angels, so they heal people and make miracles happen. They are demons, so they try to get people to sin so they can bring more souls to Hell. Simplistic? Maybe, but it forms a large part of the worldview of the earth. How am I meant to make sweeping generalisations, when I can be sure of no one’s motives? What is my beginning position with everyone? Wariness? I’ll tire myself out. Friendliness? I’ll get mugged or something. Dislike? Nobody will like me. Bleah.
Luckily, I didn’t get a chance to wax rhapsodic on that issue, because Valene showed up. She left Nualla with me — I always did like Nualla best. And she said they were victorious, but she looked awful, like she might drop dead at any moment. I don’t know what I could have done to help, but I offered anyway. Isn’t that stupid? I just want to help; that’s all I ever want to do. But she left for the Shadow Roads, and Nathaniel and I went to bed. We went to bed. In our bed, that we share at the sithen. That is so nice. I only wish it weren’t temporary. In the end, I couldn’t sleep again, but that’s another story.