Home » A second life in pictures » And time yet for a hundred indecisions and revisions

And time yet for a hundred indecisions and revisions

I haven’t even thought about it lately, but my glamours seem to have calmed down. I like having long, straight hair like I did before the witch “saved” me. The more I think about it, when I think about it, the less convinced I am that I needed saving at all. I think I just panicked and took the first way out that was available to me. I could have saved my hair. But I didn’t know then what I know now, and I got my hair back anyway, sort of.

Cristof is a fucking vampire. I really need to get better at telling who’s human and who’s not. I just remember him from the Leaf, always coming by with his dogs and making horrible jokes, mostly sexist bullshit, but you know; it was a tavern and people do that shit in taverns. I can’t go around with the 21st century moral smackdown: I’d be no better than Aoibh if I did that. I could be fooling myself of course: we all have these blind spots.

I have a hunger for information. I need to know what I am and what I need to do next, and I’m impatient. So last night I ended up where I always end up, in the Castle Shithole Tavern. I probably need to learn to say that in French, just to piss Cristof off. Because if ever there were an arrogant arsehole shithead fuckface with a god complex, it would be that guy. Fuck you, you’re immortal. I hope Sarah Michelle Geller comes and stakes you and rips your fucking head off, you arrogant cunt.

Anyway. I was quizzing Aoibh about fey factions. Nathaniel didn’t seem to know much, but he’s adorkable, so I let him stay. Also he gets me cider.

Aoibh told me that the Seelie queen is Isabelle — she’d said as much in conversations to me before — and the Seelie king is the Hunter? Why does he keep fucking showing up? The Unseelie royalty are Faermorn and Gwyth–something, I don’t know; sounded Welsh. I should have remembered it better.

A wolf came to the door and was really cute until Nathaniel gave it a bone and it puked and did that thing dogs do. In retrospect I think it must have been spying for Cristof, because he came in just after that and started going on and on about the fey like he knew what he was talking about. He even told me off for wanting to use the Internet.

Then Aoibh had to go and Cristof was good about answering questions about the Seelies and Unseelies and how things fit in. Then he stuck a knife through his hand and declared me Seelie when I freaked out and tried to help instead of showing some perverted interest in the fact that he had stuck a knife through his hand. WTF. It was like one of those fascist American Dads on YouTube or something: “Got tired of listening to my little bitch daughter whine, so I stuck a knife through my hand to prove a point!” What an arsehole. I’m afraid I said some rather bad words.

Valene came in and scolded him for thinking he knew All That, and I met Nathaniel’s dryad. I had a splitting headache, though, and I just needed to get away or I was going to start an argument with Cris, and I just really didn’t want to. He does I guess have the power to expel me from Castle Shithole and send me to wander the wilds of faerie, which I don’t think I am ready to do.

Nathaniel reminded me we had a walk to take before he left. The forest at least smells better than the castle. I like the idea of a walk for no reason other than discovery. That sounds good.

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