Three Twisted Knots

From Gwyneth:

Let me be clear: My Prince Consort is a genius beyond compare. Not only is he the love of my life and the light of my eyes, he is a formidable warrior when armed with an abacus, and, more recently, a duly licensed copy of Microsoft Office.

As with most things, it started out as an ordinary day, even a good day. I’d been down in the unicorn meadow overseeing the arrival of a new statue by my favourite sculptor, Kadaj Yoshikawa of the Harsh Lands. This one is a glorious bard which I opted to place near his equally beautiful Faery Wind Chime; I can imagine they are playing a duet with the unicorns for an audience.

I was delighted with the artistry, of course, and it was just after Brán took this photograph (he got a new 100mm lens and was aching to try it out) that a page slipped up to me and held out a large envelope. His hands trembled as he gave it to me, and without even waiting for a blessing, he fled away as if chased by wolves.

“I wonder what spooked — oh, seriously?” I knew exactly what had happened the moment I pulled the copy of FaeWatch from the large manila envelope. “Look, Brán she’s at it again… what?”

I was gobsmacked. Shocked. Stunned. Appalled. Incandescent. “Oh, someone is going to pay for this.” I skimmed the article, which some unlucky readers may already have seen: suffice it to say that Cherish Gelato managed to get to my Chimerical Librarian, Lira— yes, the one who was lost in the unfortunate portal incident after the Great Faire two years ago— tracked her down, and somehow got her to agree to an interview.

Did I mention I was livid? Kvit fluttered about, presumably unsure if landing on me was a very good idea. I strode over to the café, where Nathaniel, bless him, was attempting to have his morning coffee.

Straightaway, I slammed the newspaper down on the table. That got his attention (I’ve found loud noises and vibrations help a lot with this).

“Have you seen this?”

Nathaniel got that bemused look on his face that he gets when he is trying to reorient himself into the strange and unfamiliar landscape outside his brain. “FaeWatch?” he asked, as if he were not really willing to believe it. “What has she done now? Is she raffling me off again to her wannabe pointy-eared friends?”

“Oh, nothing so benign as that,” I replied. I might have snapped. I did. I did snap. “She has somehow gotten access to Lira.”

Nathaniel pulled the paper towards him and read, his progress punctuated with various expressions of confusion, bemusement and rolling of eyes. “Hmmm…. negotiations? … Best of friends? … ”  He pushed the paper away again. “Methinks the girl exaggerates somewhat. I think I’ve had a couple of emails and one note pushed through the door, but I don’t think that really counts as negotiations. It’s not as if I’ve had time to reply. As for best of friends, I’ve not exchanged more than a couple of shouted hellos across the street with her since the last interview, so calling us besties, is that the word, is a bit presumptuous.”

I smirked. “Oh, I didn’t find that the least bit believable; don’t worry, darling. She does make it sound as if the two of you are thick as thieves, though.”

“As for Lira, I’ve not really been around enough to notice her absence. The Awenia library isn’t exactly overstocked with useful information on mortal world international law.” He picked up the paper again and squinted. “Did you really ban Cherish Gelato? If so, I need to update the portals.”

Just then, I caught a motion out of the corner of my eye. Those blasted unicorns. “Tuille! Don’t you dare gore that new statue: I’ll have your horn for the apothecary!”

Once Tuille had backed away from the statue and gone back to chomping on flowers, I returned my attention to Nathaniel and That Woman. “I wonder why TAC wouldn’t have told me immediately that she’d found Lira? She knows I’ve been searching.” Well, after a year, there was less searching and more vague hoping. I sighed. “No, I did not order that Cherish be explicitly banned from Awenia. I just, er, let it be known to her through various channels that she would not be welcomed with open arms. I didn’t see any reason to involve you unless she decided to test my resolve.”

“Because testing the Faery Queen is definitely something Cherish might do just for kicks.” Nathaniel laughed mirthlessly. “As for why you weren’t told, you’d have to ask the Cat about that; she keeps to her lane in security, and our paths don’t cross all that often.”

I sat down. “What should I do? Should I summon Lira home immediately? Or do I just send someone to have a word with her about Cherish? As for the status of FaeWatch in Awenia, I know I am correct in thinking we don’t need that viper or her oily photographer anywhere near our tourists.”

“I certainly think it would be a good thing to bring Lira home, for a visit, at least, so that she knows she still has a home here, even if she wishes to continue whatever it is she is doing for the dragon-folk. So long as she can spare some time for our library occasionally. And, yes, definitely warn her about being careful what she says to Cherish.”

Nathaniel glanced again at the paper. “I agree that we don’t want the paparazzi types blabbing about our clientele. I’m sure those who choose to holiday here don’t want the publicity, and, I’d think, those who do want the publicity aren’t the sort we necessarily want here. Either way, any presence from Ms Gelato needs to be very carefully controlled.”

Nathaniel pointed again at the paper. “I don’t think there’s enough in that article to warrant any legal action at this stage. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a great deal we can do to restrict her, other than briefing all our people, including those, such as the cat and Lira, to be very careful what they say to her.”  He thought for a moment. “Or, there is one possible way…”  He paused and thought some more.

Think, thinkety-think. That’s what Nathaniel’s best at, after all. I was still angry. Who wouldn’t have been? “Cherish is just—did you see there that she has actually had her human ears surgically pointed? I asked Wulfrich to make sure her essence would be reported to me in the event that she did try to come here. But so far, no movement on her part.

“But you’d know more than me, love, since you are apparently in frequent negotiations with her. I can just see you now, sharing a nice picnic together, overlooking the canal…” When he paused to think again, I rolled my hand for him to continue, reflexively reaching up to scritch Kvit’s beak with the other hand. “Oh? I don’t know why you keep asking me to scratch your beak, you numpty; you’ve got no nerves there.”

“Eh,” Nathaniel dismissed my outburst about Cherish’s ear with a hand. “From what I know of twenty-first century mortals, they do any number of crazy things with their bodies. I’ve run into vampire wannabes who’ve had extensive dental work in order to make it look as if they have fangs.” Another sardonic chuckle. “I’ve wondered, sometimes, what would happen if one of those kids ever actually got turned. Would the turning treat the dental work as unnatural? Then we’d have that wonder of all wonders, a fangless vamp.” He did laugh at that one, a real laugh.

I, on the other hand, was focused on how to solve the problem, rather than casting aspersion on hapless humans. “Yes, yes; a very bad idea, darling. But you were saying?”

“We don’t have much in the way of control over her as she is,” Nathaniel said. And, for example, we couldn’t really do much about stopping her hanging round the landside portal to see who goes in and out. You know, freedom of the press, such as it is under the current regime, and what have you. However, if she were an employee… If we gave her some sort of job – Media Relations, which is apparently a job, or such like, and tied her up with NDAs, confidentiality clauses, punitive clauses for breaking agreements, etc. Give her exclusive access to Awenia matters, but very tightly controlled, legally, and, if I may be a little sneaky, lay a geas on her too, so she can’t break agreements. She wants to be fae so much, she can hardly object to the fae’s attitude to oath-breaking, and having old Hat-stand sent after her.”

I laughed. “Nobody wants old Hat-stand hanging about; it’s true.” And then, what he’d said started to sink in. I felt a tingling of power in my fingertips. I felt like Spring, for just a second. “Do you think that would work?” I leaned forward. I mean, it would seem to give her what she’s always wanted, but we can control the flow of information…” I thought about that, and I thought about it some more. “Darling, you are a genius. A genius. I think she would swallow that bait whole and never realise the gutting about to occur. Media Relations. We’d have to have someone go over every press release with a scalpel, of course, but.” I confess I may have giggled like the girl I thought I was once. “I am so glad I hit you over the head with that clue stick.”

 Nathaniel kissed my hand; what a posh fuck he is still. “Just because people think I’m a nice guy, and as honest as the day is long, doesn’t mean I can’t be a little bit devious now and again. I’ve learned a lot from the fae side of my nature on how to get around the not lying thing. I’ve always had a gift for prolixity and circumlocution, and having spent how ever many months over the past couple of years formulating the accords and treaties between Awenia and the mortal world, I’ve developed a certain facility with complex legalities. Besides, I used to be an accountant, and nobody can tell truthful lies like an accountant.”

I laughed outright. “I knew there was a reason my mortal father figure was afraid of accountants.” Oh, everything was going to be all right. “I’ll get Friðrós to work the geas; I think she’s ready for that. She really is coming along nicely. I promised her parents I’d return her a Queen, and we’re close.”

For his part, Nathaniel started making notes in the little notebook he always kept on him. “I’ll defer to you on things like the geas. That’s much more your wheelhouse. Legalese, on the other hand, is very much my wheelhouse. I’ll get on it straight away.”

I rose then, and left him with a kiss. He really is such a marvellous Prince Consort. As I walked back through the unicorn meadow to admire my new statue again, I heard him order an extra large coffee at Lady Mystie’s Uncle. Poor boy! He’s going to need it.

When the rain started, Kvit and I headed to the willows by the Well of Whispers, and I started thinking about all the sport one could have with poor little Cherish Gelato. Be careful what you wish for, you little termagant; you’ll soon know more about Faerie than you ever expected.

It makes me smile to think of Nathaniel, up there in his Town Hall office, working late in the night, thinking of all the best ways to trap Ms Gelato into a living nightmare of her faerie fantasies come true. We should have thought of this decades ago.

Notes & Credits:

Awenia’s Newest Statue: HarshLands, The Bard Statue* (Available now at We Love Roleplay!)

Gwyneth:

(sponsored items marked with a *)

• Earrings: Miamai, Ariadne Elf* (These are coming soon to The Vault [open on 8th August!])

Coming soon to Enchantment’s Nevermore (open on 8th August!):

• Gown & Wings: Blue Moon Enterprises, Drusilla Gown, & Mechanical Nevermore Wings* (The Nevermore Wings are Blue Moon Enterprises Hunt Item!)
• Headpiece: AngelicUs, Tiara Monica*

Other Fancy Stuff:

• Eyeshadow: Hexumbra, Arlowe Eye Makeup* (Available at the Hexumbra Main Store!)
• Necklace: Miamai, Spina Necklace* (Available at the Miamai Main Store!)
• Kvit: As always, Kvit is portrayed by CKit Falconry’s amazing and wonderful Magical Talking Raven Shoulder Pet. (Get him, and gear to match, at the CKit Falconry Main Store, or look for him at Mischief Managed, open until the 18th of this month!) As an aside, I cannot say enough good things about CKit and the beautiful, interactive animals they create. Kvit, Uggla, Myrkendraum, and a host of others are not just wonderful to photograph, they are great interactive pets as well.
• Skin: Lumae, Edie, in T1* (Available at the Lumae Main Store!)
• Shoes: Azoury, Raserei
• Nails: Eventyra, Timeless
• Eyes: Shimm, CXLIII, Bonus 4
• Eyelashes: Void, Mirage Lashes
• Lipstick: Song, Bunny Lips
• Hair: Exile, Dove
• Additional Hairbase: Miamai, Hairbase 02 (Available at the Miamai Main Store!)
• Signature Ring: Yummy, Solitaire Ring with Enhancers
• Gwyneth is styled on a Legacy Perky Petite mesh body and a Lelutka EvoX Billie mesh head

Nathaniel’s style card is coming soon!